Finding a psychologist/therapist - Advice please

[cooldude420]

I have a lot of loss, regret, and anger over it. I have deep romantic regret too and am looking at the very real possibility of living and dying alone. I want to be happy, healthy, and whole. I want to have a great life.

Any advice for finding a psychologist for therapy? I'd prefer a PhD over someone with a masters degree. Several of my friends who know me very well have agreed with this.

I don't want to be in therapy for years either. I am looking to kick ass in therapy and move on as fast as possible. I have very little experience shopping for it.

 

[Cathy Ames]

I wish you luck with this!!!!

Recommendations are at least a hypothetically good way, but the problem is that you may have trouble figuring out whether the person giving the recommendation has a good basis for it.

This is going to sound weird--and I don't know how you'd go about finding these practitioners--but my understanding is that the ones who are actually "good" (and able to help people) generally do not take insurance. They don't need to. They're in demand, and it's not worth the additional hassle.

Also, it is apparently quite common to have to try out more than one person to find one who is a good fit. Oh! Here's a thought. When you go in for the first appointment maybe ask the person how common it is for them to have their clients "graduate" and move on and see how they answer this question. [More than one answer might be "correct" here, but they should be able to tell you that they DO have people recover and go on with their lives, possibly with additional minor "tune-ups" every so often if needed.]

 

[Cathy Ames]

@cooldude420, were you able to find someone? If so, how did you go about it?

 

[CrazyMary]

In my experience it will take years, there might be some quick wins but to really feel well it will be years. It depends on each case. Some start with cognitive conductual therapy and work well other need something deeper even like psychoanalisis that can take up to a decade. The important thing is that you trust your doctor, don´t feel judged by him and are willing to stay in the process as long as you need. Some people tend to jump from dr to dr which make you just go back to square one thousands of times. Better "interview" a couple and see which one you like. Might even be a good idea to have 2, one for therapy and another one that gives you the "happy" pills you need. But if at one moment you stop trusting or you don´t see at least some results oin the first few months or whatever timeline they give you, don´t be afraid to change ships.

In my case I was with a stupid doctor for around 9 months, she just made me waste my time. She couldn´t se what I had she was always asking for 3 more months. And I wa snot feeling better, I was actually feeling more suicidal. This b$$tch tested me for everything told me I was bipolar, border, etc. Put me on lithium and after 3 months on that and seeing no results I changed doctors. I have been with the last one for 1.5 years now. Feeling better everyday. I went down from 11 pills!! to less than .25 now.