F

Funkbunny

Student
Nov 18, 2018
116
So much information on this site, but a couple of posts caught my attention. Home or hotel?

A little over 15 years ago now, I was a manager of a hotel. A normal day, until one of my cleaners came to my office, white as a sheet. She could barely speak. She gave me a room number, another collegue told me someone had hung themselves.

There is no amount of preparation. I remember it all so clearly even now. I put the key card in the door, told everyone that had followed me to move away (I didn't want anyone else to see) and opened the door. Instant shock, adrenaline and a total inability to move. The young man had hung himself from the back of the bathroom door.

After everything had been sorted (and trust me there was a lot) I went back to the room, cleaned every inch of it. Im not religious, but i wished him peace. If you didn't know what had happened in there you'd never know someone had taken their life. The only little bits were slight cracks in the corners of the doorframe, and I slight indentation from the rope.

He found his peace.

Not sure what my purpose of posting is. He'd put so much thought into it. Notes. Instructions. Reason. There's no escaping the fact that a high proportion of us will be found. Our life, our choice, but it will effect others no matter how good our intention for it not to.
 
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S

Shewaitsforme

Arcanist
Sep 23, 2018
493
I still feel for the cleaner who discovered my partner in dead. She had to give a statement, attend the inquest. I think about her now and again because i truely am sorry she was put in that position. No note was left, just empty insulin pens left in the bag next to her body
 
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Thoughtforms

Thoughtforms

Experienced
Nov 1, 2018
220
That's so awful so sorry :(

I think it'd be best to do it in the bathroom / bathtub and leave a note on the door? Like call paramedics.

But my ideal way to go would be to die in a nice big cosy bed from SN
 
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K

Kingkelly

Mage
Dec 3, 2018
532
That's so awful so sorry :(

I think it'd be best to do it in the bathroom / bathtub and leave a note on the door? Like call paramedics.

But my ideal way to go would be to die in a nice big cosy bed from SN
Yes thats how I'm going to do it. In my own Bed and yes my husband will find me but he won't be completely surprised. He will be devastated but at least I will be at peace and he will be able to live a normal life.
 
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Smilla

Smilla

Visionary
Apr 30, 2018
2,549
So much information on this site, but a couple of posts caught my attention. Home or hotel?

A little over 15 years ago now, I was a manager of a hotel. A normal day, until one of my cleaners came to my office, white as a sheet. She could barely speak. She gave me a room number, another collegue told me someone had hung themselves.

There is no amount of preparation. I remember it all so clearly even now. I put the key card in the door, told everyone that had followed me to move away (I didn't want anyone else to see) and opened the door. Instant shock, adrenaline and a total inability to move. The young man had hung himself from the back of the bathroom door.

After everything had been sorted (and trust me there was a lot) I went back to the room, cleaned every inch of it. Im not religious, but i wished him peace. If you didn't know what had happened in there you'd never know someone had taken their life. The only little bits were slight cracks in the corners of the doorframe, and I slight indentation from the rope.

He found his peace.

Not sure what my purpose of posting is. He'd put so much thought into it. Notes. Instructions. Reason. There's no escaping the fact that a high proportion of us will be found. Our life, our choice, but it will effect others no matter how good our intention for it not to.

Sorry you had to experience this but everyday doctors and nurses and EMTS experience horror; it certainly should not have been your job to clean the room—there are companies now who can be brought in to handle such tasks. Why was it left to you? Weren't the police called?

Have you ever encountered a homeless person or a person dying slowly in a nursing home? Equally traumatic.
 
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Smilla

Smilla

Visionary
Apr 30, 2018
2,549
Yes thats how I'm going to do it. In my own Bed and yes my husband will find me but he won't be completely surprised. He will be devastated but at least I will be at peace and he will be able to live a normal life.

Some of us don't have loved ones to find us. Glad that you do.

And loved ones will DEFINITELY be more traumatized than a stranger—common sense.
 
Last edited:
Smilla

Smilla

Visionary
Apr 30, 2018
2,549
That's so awful so sorry :(

I think it'd be best to do it in the bathroom / bathtub and leave a note on the door? Like call paramedics.

But my ideal way to go would be to die in a nice big cosy bed from SN

Delayed email is my plan.
 
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Lunaemoth

Lunaemoth

Member
Dec 14, 2018
85
I have to do hotel. Book at least 2 nights, CTB on the first. My one attempt that was almost successful I woke up after a three day coma instead of dying because I was found too soon. Also I still live at home (@ 26) and don't want my mom to find me. The previous attempt, my dog tried to protect me from the paramedics and I don't want some cop to hurt her. I'm sorry for the stranger who has to find me, but it's better that way. I like the idea of leaving a note saying call 911, but I want to be in bed not the bathroom, and I can't let anyone find me too soon.
 
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TAW122

TAW122

Emissary of the right to die.
Aug 30, 2018
6,804
When I ctb, I don't intend on my family finding my body first. Chances are, first responders or strangers will find it first, then possibly notifying my next of kin. I figured that regardless of how or where and when I ctb, there will always be trauma and grief, it is inevitable, but the least I can do is to minimize the damage while making sure that I succeed in ctb'ing.
 
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Whatshername

Whatshername

That Ghost Lady on the Hill
Dec 14, 2018
1,352
I no longer have immediate family or close friends who would discover me. The 2 people who would genuinely care live abroad. Extended family lives far enough too. I live alone, I could have about 3 days before anyone gets alarmed if I don't answer a phone call. As shitty as it sounds, I'm planning on inconveniencing my neighbour by hanging a note on their garage door in the middle of the night asking him to call authorities. He leaves every morning at the same time, he would notice it too late to attempt saving me. Another warning note on my own door. Hopefully he will heed it and wait for first responders. I know it's not the best idea, it's risky, but I can't think of anything else in my situation. Unless I let my body rot for 3-4 or more days.
 
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A

Arak

Enlightened
Sep 21, 2018
1,176
@Whatshername ,

I was thinking of waiting for someone to notice the putrid smell ... not exactly ideal.
 
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O

OkTotti

Wizard
Nov 6, 2018
616
I no longer have immediate family or close friends who would discover me. The 2 people who would genuinely care live abroad. Extended family lives far enough too. I live alone, I could have about 3 days before anyone gets alarmed if I don't answer a phone call. As shitty as it sounds, I'm planning on inconveniencing my neighbour by hanging a note on their garage door in the middle of the night asking him to call authorities. He leaves every morning at the same time, he would notice it too late to attempt saving me. Another warning note on my own door. Hopefully he will heed it and wait for first responders. I know it's not the best idea, it's risky, but I can't think of anything else in my situation. Unless I let my body rot for 3-4 or more days.

i live alone too, and I happened to CTB in my apartment, i actually think it will be weeks for anyone to notice. I'm also unemployed so no one will be looking for me. This is why I have to CTB in a hotel room or a place where my body will be discovered. There is an option of sending a 'delayed' email so a program sends the email 2-3 days after you've CTB. I don't want to CTB in my home because of the i don't want to lower the property value for my family to sell..
 
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Egddios

Egddios

Specialist
Oct 27, 2018
395
While I would ideally like to die in my own bed, under the covers with a window cracked to feel some cold air before I go, the likely scenario will be me hanging from the back of the bathroom door. Which, I can't complain too much about, as it's private and allows me to leave a note on the outside of the door to warn anyone of the scene inside. I've got till the end of the month; after years of thought and trying to live a "normal" life, I'm tired and uninterested in continuing on. It was either hanging or N, which I no longer have because I ended up using the two bottles over time. Little doses of N are enough to give a person some truly dense sleep, and I don't regret using it that way as opposed to consuming it all in one swoop to end my life. Hanging is reliable and fairly quick, that's what I'll be doing and at this point, I'm anxious to get it over with already.
 
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Whatshername

Whatshername

That Ghost Lady on the Hill
Dec 14, 2018
1,352
@Whatshername ,

I was thinking of waiting for someone to notice the putrid smell ... not exactly ideal.

Not ideal indeed... but we all have different circumstances to work with, I understand that. Death is never pretty, but I intend to make it as least gruesome/traumatic as possible for those who find me.
 
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muretax

muretax

Alien
Nov 13, 2018
81
When it comes to thinking of when to do the deed I'm obsessed over the idea of who will find me. I thought long and hard for weeks and figured the best and safest option is to do it in my own bedroom and have my boyfriend find me. He'll be very disappointed and heartbroken but it'll be expected and wouldn't come as a surprise to him. Plus, he's got enough anger in him towards me for cheating earlier this year so I can see that helping him get over it.
 
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