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- Dec 9, 2018
- 13
I just wanted to say thank you to everyone who replied on my venting post, I was blown away by the support and I read them all but I couldn't bring myself to reply directly, it was just too upsetting. Today I will ctb by hanging, I have tested my set up (I think I'm going to make a more detailed reply in the hanging megathread before I go, for anyone interested in my experience with the test) I could have just passed out and ctb right then and there, but (this is kind of funny/embarrassing now that I'm saying it out loud) I wanted to have my favorite music playing while I died so I forced myself out of it. I am about ~95% certain that I will not fail, and the thought brings me so much peace, and only a little sadness.
Now, my question to you is:
Does anyone have any last minute suggestions for things I should do to make sure everything goes smoothly and minimize aftermath? I haven't written a note, but I have several diaries that should pretty much sum up why I did this. Should I write some sort of note/will? The last time I ate or drank was 18 hours ago, if I use the restroom before this should I take any other precautions to prevent, ahem, making a mess of myself? I've thought about texting my sister and telling her that I'm studying for an important test and not to disturb me when she gets home (shouldn't be for another 4 hours but still), to eliminate any chance of getting "saved". I know that seems sinister, but I don't have any better ideas, I'm open to suggestions. Just want this whole thing to be as painless as possible for everyone around me. I will truly be happier and in a better place once this is over.
Thank you.
Now, my question to you is:
Does anyone have any last minute suggestions for things I should do to make sure everything goes smoothly and minimize aftermath? I haven't written a note, but I have several diaries that should pretty much sum up why I did this. Should I write some sort of note/will? The last time I ate or drank was 18 hours ago, if I use the restroom before this should I take any other precautions to prevent, ahem, making a mess of myself? I've thought about texting my sister and telling her that I'm studying for an important test and not to disturb me when she gets home (shouldn't be for another 4 hours but still), to eliminate any chance of getting "saved". I know that seems sinister, but I don't have any better ideas, I'm open to suggestions. Just want this whole thing to be as painless as possible for everyone around me. I will truly be happier and in a better place once this is over.
Thank you.