Venting Finally Decided

[ixkitty]

I've concluded that I'm going to get super shit drunk with the night night method. Maybe Halloween? Maybe

 

[Spitfire]

I hope everything goes how you want it to for yourself, if you do go through with it sometime soon...

I think this method is mostly thought of as being peaceful, right?

Happy early Halloween!

 

[iftheworldwasending]

hope everything goes well for you, i'm here if you need someone to talk to

 

[ixkitty]

I hope everything goes how you want it to for yourself, if you do go through with it sometime soon...

I think this method is mostly thought of as being peaceful, right?

Happy early Halloween!

Yes it's suppose to be pretty peaceful.

hope everything goes well for you, i'm here if you need someone to talk to

I appreciate it. <3

 

[muffin222]

I'm so sorry life has brought you to this point. As long as you're 100% certain that this is the route you want to take, I wish you nothing but peace

 

[Deleted member 17949]

Respectable plan

 

[grungeCat]

Honestly? I don't think ctb while being drunk is a good idea. There's high risk of failure even with night-night method. Please be careful.

 

[ixkitty]

I'm so sorry life has brought you to this point. As long as you're 100% certain that this is the route you want to take, I wish you nothing but peace

I appreciate it - i just have to make my obituary, whoever wants my stuff can do as they wish. My mom gets all the money so she don't have to ask anyone anymore. ♡

 

[Zyntkalla]

What is night-night method?

 

[ixkitty]

Honestly? I don't think ctb while being drunk is a good idea. There's high risk of failure even with night-night method. Please be careful.

The only reason is because I fear I will talk myself out of it again and suffer more and cycle back to this point.. again. I don't know if it even makes sense but I need to end this pain. Right now my brain is "but what about x? What about Y?" When literally the entire reason is because it's finally a decision I am making instead of a decision someone has made for me.

My entire life has been decisions made for me. What school, whay degree, what job. Help this person. Help that person. And I can't get away from it. I can't say no. I can't stand mu ground. I can't find love because they've all used me and left. I mean even yesterday the person that literally knew everything about me pre partnership(because when I first get into a relationship I tell them I am chronically depressed but I will do everything in my power to make you happy because it gives me a slight bit of satisfaction) decided we were better as friends because she couldn't handle my depression after I lost 2 important people in my life in a 2 month time frame. Even though the entire year we spent together I've set aside every sadness I've had to deal with her sadness. I'm not saying I'm perfect but she decided she didn't want to do the same. I'm too broken for the stable, too broken for the broken. I don't want to be used anymore. I don't want to not be able to say anything about my feelings anymore.. Idk if im gonna fail or not but I have an entire apt to myself to fail, and try again. I want to try and try and gather up as much courage as I can to keep trying. I apologize for turning this into .. a mess of words

What is night-night method?

Its basically when you cut the O2 from your brain and take a long deserved sleep (CTB)

I'm so sorry life has brought you to this point. As long as you're 100% certain that this is the route you want to take, I wish you nothing but peace

I am 100000% certain. My brain hesitates because even now, it's asking me what about someone else. When they dont care

 

[grungeCat]

The only reason is because I fear I will talk myself out of it again and suffer more and cycle back to this point.. again. I don't know if it even makes sense but I need to end this pain. Right now my brain is "but what about x? What about Y?" When literally the entire reason is because it's finally a decision I am making instead of a decision someone has made for me.

My entire life has been decisions made for me. What school, whay degree, what job. Help this person. Help that person. And I can't get away from it. I can't say no. I can't stand mu ground. I can't find love because they've all used me and left. I mean even yesterday the person that literally knew everything about me pre partnership(because when I first get into a relationship I tell them I am chronically depressed but I will do everything in my power to make you happy because it gives me a slight bit of satisfaction) decided we were better as friends because she couldn't handle my depression after I lost 2 important people in my life in a 2 month time frame. Even though the entire year we spent together I've set aside every sadness I've had to deal with her sadness. I'm not saying I'm perfect but she decided she didn't want to do the same. I'm too broken for the stable, too broken for the broken. I don't want to be used anymore. I don't want to not be able to say anything about my feelings anymore.. Idk if im gonna fail or not but I have an entire apt to myself to fail, and try again. I want to try and try and gather up as much courage as I can to keep trying. I apologize for turning this into .. a mess of words


Its basically when you cut the O2 from your brain and take a long deserved sleep (CTB)

I'm sorry you went through so much pain. However it might be mean but I think you are not certainly sure if you want to do this. If you need alcohol then there's something in you that make you hesitate. Please think it through once again.

 

[itachi of death]

Be careful the failure of ctb is really brutal so I hope all goes well for you

 

[ixkitty]

I'm sorry you went through so much pain. However it might be mean but I think you are not certainly sure if you want to do this. If you need alcohol then there's something in you that make you hesitate. Please think it through once again.

I completely understand... unfortunately I'm never certainly sure about anything. What I want to eat, who i want to call ... because someone always is choosing for me.. I don't want to be a person that just says this to get pity and empathy from people, you know ? I have to do this. Or else I'm going to lose myself .. my job, the apt.. I can't remain nice forever.. I'm gonna lose everything I have

Be careful the failure of ctb is really brutal so I hope all goes well for you

I greatly appreciate. I can be at the apt alone so I don't even have to worry about anyone walking in on me anytime soon

 

[itachi of death]

I have brain damage from a failed ctb so I hope you get your wishes and finally find peace

 

[ixkitty]

I have brain damage from a failed ctb so I hope you get your wishes and finally find peace

I appreciate the kind words. I'm working on the inner strength so I can succeed fantastically

 

[itachi of death]

Inner strength is a tough one for me hence why I'm still here,sorry i just know that the consequences are dire if you survie a failed ctb,sorry if I seem annoying I just would hate to hear that you made the same mistakes I have which has cause me to hate life even more,I wish everyone peace and being alive isn't the only peace out there so goodluck and godspeed

 

[Lordsudbury]

I appreciate the kind words. I'm working on the inner strength so I can succeed fantastically

Are you still with us?

Inner strength is a tough one for me hence why I'm still here,sorry i just know that the consequences are dire if you survie a failed ctb,sorry if I seem annoying I just would hate to hear that you made the same mistakes I have which has cause me to hate life even more,I wish everyone peace and being alive isn't the only peace out there so goodluck and godspeed

May we ask, what method did you use and what went wrong?

I'm sorry you went through so much pain. However it might be mean but I think you are not certainly sure if you want to do this. If you need alcohol then there's something in you that make you hesitate. Please think it through once again.

Interesting perspective. I too think I need a bit of drugs and alcohol to subdue the senses. It's easier to noose yourself under the influence than not, and be sober thinking about it as you go down. That's the SI I guess

 

[itachi of death]

May we ask, what method did you use and what went wrong?

I was a dumb kid and used 80 100ml of ibuprofen and a half cup of bleach,I slept for 3 hrs before they found me and rushed me to the hospital after I tried to run away from them,so unfortunately they saved me....

 

[Lordsudbury]

I was a dumb kid and used 80 100ml of ibuprofen and a half cup of bleach,I slept for 3 hrs before they found me and rushed me to the hospital after I tried to run away from them,so unfortunately they saved me....

Cheers, sounds terrifying

 

[itachi of death]

Cheers, sounds terrifying

The only terrifying part is me having to stay alive