lilyeehaw

lilyeehaw

yeehaw?
Jun 30, 2019
86
Hey everyone, I think the day is coming closer for me. So I wanted to get everyone's thoughts on what to do/what you will be doing before you ctb

I've been finalizing my letter, Takes a surprising amount of effort to write something meaningful. I doubt it will give my family much closure/help but I hope it at least alleviates there suffering as much as it can do.

Signed up for le organ donation, Makes me happy to know that hopefully, someone will live a better life because of me. If the paramedics don't get to me in time at least my body will hopefully be donated to science.

Been trying to put on my happy face, around my family who have shouting matches every other day, constant anxiety, depression and dysphoria :c . Hanging out with my friends more aswell for them to at least have somewhat happy memories before I go, Spending time with them playing computer games, watching movies etc, all the fun stuff.

Finishing up some work-related projects, Don't want to leave my team in a shitty situation since there great people. I do programming so it's pretty stressful and annoying at times but overall I enjoy it, definitely doesn't help my mental health sometimes though :ahhha:

Going to order some of my favourite food on the night I ctb, Also Have some whisky to dull the pain, If I can smuggle it into the house :pfff:. Watch one last movie, rewatch some movies before I go, not sure yet.
 
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262653

262653

Cluesome
Apr 5, 2018
1,733
Jerk off. Джирков. HAHAHAHAHA! Sounds like russian family name. Or maybe take booze and write down thoughts. A few grams, write, another few. And then read what you wrote on a sober head. I have a wonderful liquor store a few blocks away. And another one next block. And another one right under my appartment.
 
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not_a_robot

not_a_robot

"i hope the leaving is joyful, & never to return"
May 30, 2019
2,121
Omg. I love your positivity and I know everybody thinks it's noble to make your death about other ppl instead of you, but...
look how much of that list is for others, and how little of it is for you.
You may like it, but if I felt so much obligation to others and so little for myself, that would be my biggest catalyst for ctb.
Are you sure that being just *slightly* more selfish might not make you enjoy yourself a bit more before the end?
If not, then I've got nothing else to offer, plan is perfect.
 
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omoidarui

omoidarui

Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ
Apr 30, 2019
993
Hey everyone, I think the day is coming closer for me. So I wanted to get everyone's thoughts on what to do/what you will be doing before you ctb

abstain from using this forum for 5 minutes (which would be a personal record for mi)
 
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not_a_robot

not_a_robot

"i hope the leaving is joyful, & never to return"
May 30, 2019
2,121
abstain from using this forum for 5 minutes (which would be a personal record for mi)
Umm...
/looks down at shoes, guiltily...
:notsure:
 
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Darkhaven

Darkhaven

All i have left is memories
May 19, 2019
979
Destroy everything i own so i won't be leaving nothing behind...
 
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lilyeehaw

lilyeehaw

yeehaw?
Jun 30, 2019
86
What is your method?
I'm used to the pain of cutting, So I was thinking of going the exsanguination route. I'm going to research Hanging methods more as that's the more successful option I have available to me.
 
SelfHatingAspie

SelfHatingAspie

Ambitious but rubbish
Jul 2, 2019
198
Hey everyone, I think the day is coming closer for me. So I wanted to get everyone's thoughts on what to do/what you will be doing before you ctb

My plans are similar to yours. Tying up a lot of loose ends (which I've already started doing), spending extra time with those closest to me, as well as putting some real thought into my final messages. Whether they take the a written, audio or video form (of a combination) remains to be seen.

I also need to ensure that my paperwork is in order to make it as easy as possible for my wife to settle my financial affairs without needing to think about it too much.

Finally, I need to write some instructions for the funeral director. Ideally, I wouldn't have a funeral - I'd just have my body cremated and my ashes thrown in the garbage. But I realise that I have to have one in order to ease the closure process for a few people I hold dear, and all I want is to help them move on as quickly as possible.
 
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xXSarac3nSlay3rXx

xXSarac3nSlay3rXx

“Leaving this world is not as scary as it sounds.”
Mar 3, 2019
248
I'm used to the pain of cutting, So I was thinking of going the exsanguination route. I'm going to research Hanging methods more as that's the more successful option I have available to me.
I've always wondered if it would be
Hey everyone, I think the day is coming closer for me. So I wanted to get everyone's thoughts on what to do/what you will be doing before you ctb

I've been finalizing my letter, Takes a surprising amount of effort to write something meaningful. I doubt it will give my family much closure/help but I hope it at least alleviates there suffering as much as it can do.

Signed up for le organ donation, Makes me happy to know that hopefully, someone will live a better life because of me. If the paramedics don't get to me in time at least my body will hopefully be donated to science.

Been trying to put on my happy face, around my family who have shouting matches every other day, constant anxiety, depression and dysphoria :c . Hanging out with my friends more aswell for them to at least have somewhat happy memories before I go, Spending time with them playing computer games, watching movies etc, all the fun stuff.

Finishing up some work-related projects, Don't want to leave my team in a shitty situation since there great people. I do programming so it's pretty stressful and annoying at times but overall I enjoy it, definitely doesn't help my mental health sometimes though :ahhha:

Going to order some of my favourite food on the night I ctb, Also Have some whisky to dull the pain, If I can smuggle it into the house :pfff:. Watch one last movie, rewatch some movies before I go, not sure yet.
I've been looking into various donation options myself. Just wanted to mention that they have to find you quickly in order for you to be eligible for full body donation: you need to be refrigerated quickly. Signing up for organ donation is great because you'll hopefully be able to donate tissue and corneas. Actual organ donation isn't usually possible after suicides because you have to have to have blood and oxygen flow to keep the organs viable.

Regardless, it is admirable that you want to help others after your death. It's amazing that people so often say that those who ctb are selfish, when many people think the same way you do.
 
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not from here

not from here

Never was
Jul 14, 2019
35
Being alive is a selfish act within itself. You beat out millions of other sperm in your daddy's sack and get to the egg first to be here for some reason when you where a sperm. Maybe they were the smart ones, the ones who said, no this is enough. I say go out selfishly and continue your existence. Just my 2 pennies.
 
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k75

k75

L'appel du Vide
Jun 27, 2019
2,546
At the very least, I want to have my apartment completely packed up and as clean as possible. It'll probably fall on my best friend to deal with my belongings, and I want to make that as easy as possible for him. Logically, I should just get rid of everything but I can't make myself go that far. If something changes or goes wrong, I'd like to still have my things.

I don't really have any other to-do list besides that. I need to make sure my cat will be taken care of. I don't care about last meals or anything like that. My affairs are mostly in order now. I have this tiny fear that I'm forgetting something very important, but everyday I go over it in my head and I just can't think of what it might be.

So basically, at this point I'm being kept alive by a cat and two closets I can't muster the energy to deal with. It's actually pretty stupid.
 
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Egddios

Egddios

Specialist
Oct 27, 2018
395
I'm likely going to clean out my apartment and donate as much as I can before I end it.
 
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Saga

Saga

In my memories a smiling me doesn't exist
Jul 20, 2019
175
as for me id want to spend one day in a house full of cats while listening to music...then at night thats when i sleep for eternity after eating my shitload of takoyaki
 
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Dreamcolleger

Dreamcolleger

I surrender... I SURRENDER!
Apr 26, 2019
219
Destroy documents and delete files from my computer.

Clear up my place somewhat.

Leave a list of people to contact, I've changed my mind about a lot of people and cut it down to 2.

Make playlist, this is more to motivate me and get me in the right frame of mind than anything.

Tape a note on the door: "Warning! Unalive body inside!"

I am past the point of caring about last meals etc, I don't really even have the motivation to see anyone one more time before I go. There is maybe one person I can feasibly get to before I have everything in place. Everyone else is either too far away or I don't think they are who I thought they were.
 
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