willowtrees0
willowtrees
- Oct 5, 2018
- 54
I posted a few weeks ago I wanted to be gone by my 21st birthday. today is 25th and my birthday is on the 29th. I had a checklist I also wrote in a post about. Today I finally finished that checklist. I finally wrote out my suicide note which is something I was dreading most.
i always knew hanging was going to be my method.
ultimately I decided on partial in my spare room closet with a thick dog leash. I tested it last night and it is a little long which can be adjusted. my knees almost touched the floor. the slip not positioned just under my jaw (im a girl) and when I bent down I immediately felt the 'tingle' feeling. not the exploding head feeling. I felt like I was going to pass out almost immediately after putting all my weight on it.
I plan on the day of to drink about half a bottle of bourbon. I dont drink so this will be more than enough. Honestly dont think I need the alcohol but doing it for safe measures. just incase of survival instinct.
I hope to do this soon. i wont post the date in case of lurkers ya know. I always told myself when I could think about what is on the other side of death, then think about the consequences if I fail and decide it is still worth it to try, then its my time to go.
So today I am going to take my pups to the lake with my bf and then we are having a hot chocolate date later tonight and try to enjoy these last moments on this dreadful earth. I hope you all find peace and are able to end your suffering whether that be finding help or leaving this world.
I wanted to post my experience with partial and coming to terms with my death in general to help some that are having trouble with it.
i always knew hanging was going to be my method.
ultimately I decided on partial in my spare room closet with a thick dog leash. I tested it last night and it is a little long which can be adjusted. my knees almost touched the floor. the slip not positioned just under my jaw (im a girl) and when I bent down I immediately felt the 'tingle' feeling. not the exploding head feeling. I felt like I was going to pass out almost immediately after putting all my weight on it.
I plan on the day of to drink about half a bottle of bourbon. I dont drink so this will be more than enough. Honestly dont think I need the alcohol but doing it for safe measures. just incase of survival instinct.
I hope to do this soon. i wont post the date in case of lurkers ya know. I always told myself when I could think about what is on the other side of death, then think about the consequences if I fail and decide it is still worth it to try, then its my time to go.
So today I am going to take my pups to the lake with my bf and then we are having a hot chocolate date later tonight and try to enjoy these last moments on this dreadful earth. I hope you all find peace and are able to end your suffering whether that be finding help or leaving this world.
I wanted to post my experience with partial and coming to terms with my death in general to help some that are having trouble with it.
