Final checklist will remain unfinished.

[MediaPoisened]

I had a short list of things to do that most could do in a day: deal with my outstanding financial dealings what little they are, clean my room, and write a will giving it all to this young gay fling I have. Well, as always any connection i made with him was not enough for someone else to not just take him. I had nearly nobody and now its none.

My whole life I was just grasping for a connection with anyone but it's hard to look for a human connection when you're not human. At least all i have to do is finish my laundry and vacuum. My parents can deal with the wreckage.

 

[Sittichmutter]

Hi
Why do you think you are not human? What kind of connection you are looking for?
I am sorry for your suffering. Maybe your pain is blinding you. Are you sure there is not another way out?

 

[MediaPoisened]

Hi
Why do you think you are not human? What kind of connection you are looking for?
I am sorry for your suffering. Maybe your pain is blinding you. Are you sure there is not another way out?

I say I'm not human because I have no tribe. I'm antisocial and can't stand the idea of how much I'm abused by the world system, these feelings alienate me and have since I was 10. It's like, I know all the lines there are to say or hear, I know history and how it repeats. I know each person, what they are capable of. But everyone knows this and fights on regardless. I went through life hedonistically since I saw this truth. Hedonistic is the closest word I've found other than escapism.

Connection? Like just one person. One only. To cling to while I sink. I have a lot of issues so I know I can't have even one person. I drag people down with me.

 

[Sittichmutter]

It is pretty tough. You must feel terrible lonely.
Did you ever try therapy. To help you with some issues?
Did you ever try therapy. To help you with some issues?

 

[FuneralCry]

It's undeniably true that this world is such a cruel, awful place, and it sounds like you've suffered a lot. But anyway, I wish you the best.