Venting Feels impossible now to find distractions from my mind

[scary]

The more I go on the more difficult its become to find things to get my mind off my thoughts. When I think I have something to do like trying to get back into games on my 3ds not even a minute in i'm already getting bored of whatever i'm playing and thus fall back into my usual mental spiral.

Nothing brings me any semblance of joy anymore and it all feels like one big chore. I can't even sleep because either I physically can't, I end up waking up abruptly, or I get nightmares that just cause me to spiral more. My mind is either at the extreme of never shutting up or unable to think at all and i'm tired of constantly feeling like i'm in a mental prison. I really wish that my body would just collapse in on itself already, I used to be able to find something that I could do that would help ground me and keep me occupied but now those same things no longer work for me.

All I think about now is either how stupid and worthless I am or ctb ctb ctb, If only my brain could just internalize these thoughts and spontaneously combust on itself.

 

[itsgone2]

The loss of joy or taking pleasure in anything is rough. Why go on at this point? I hate it. Sorry you're in this place too.

 

[decayingangel]

I felt similar last year throughout whole summer. I didn't feel anything, didn't feel any joy except for this feeling of doom and that nothing has any real value. Then I'd get random anxiety attacks and back to nothing again. Also had the same thing would try to play games and it'd last max 10 minutes before I'd turn my console or laptop off because it felt pointless and boring anyway.
I'm sorry you feel that way I hope it'll pass and you'll be able to find joy in something soon.
And I'm sure you're not worthless nor stupid.