Anon2662
Just a girl trapped in a psychological prison
- Feb 13, 2020
- 366
So I know there are probably heaps of threads about how corona virus has fucked up people's plans etc. But I haven't posted for a while and I really just need to vent. I'm so fucked off with everything. You know that lump you get in your throat and the physical hurting in your chest when you are upset? I'm feeling that pain a lot lately. And I feel bad for saying it because I get that thousands are dying and suffering from corona virus and I do really feel for them but it's making things so much harder for me. Now the uk is effectively in lockdown.. mums not going to be going to work for weeks maybe months and I can't just kill myself in her house and leave her to find the body. It sounds stupid because I'm practically housebound and don't go out anyway but having the choice taken from me by the government who I have issues with anyway I'm finding hard. I know that might sound selfish and I'm not going out to spread it if I were carrying it anyway.. its just the feeling even more out of control than usual I'm hating. I've felt like a caged animal for months now due to not feeling able to go out and now I feel even more like one. My SN still hasn't arrived which is a separate issue and I've already gone on about enough but that's getting to me. And I've had a few days where some things have felt a bit more manageable. I was still hearing things but my mood wasn't so low so in turn they felt more manageable. Now I feel like my mood has gone back to rock bottom again everything feels so tiring and I don't want to do anything other than stay in bed. I'm sorry for the long rant but I figured it was better to try and write some of my feelings on here as a way to distract myself from doing anything else rn.
Also wanted to say that I hope you, your family and friends are all well and haven't gotten ill. (I know many like myself are going to ctb but from what people are saying this really wouldn't be a nice way to go !)
Also wanted to say that I hope you, your family and friends are all well and haven't gotten ill. (I know many like myself are going to ctb but from what people are saying this really wouldn't be a nice way to go !)