lovelypirategirl
I'm not ok, I'm just good at pretending I am
- Mar 22, 2020
- 38
Hello dear SS friends,
In the past few days I've been feeling particularly ugly and unworthy again. My thoughts are a mess and I'm not even able to put them into words...
I've been rejected once again by a man and it only makes me confirm my ideas of being ugly and completely unworthy. I'm 27 years old and last time I had a boyfriend was when I was 13 and we were together for 2 years (we broke up on my 15th birthday... being Mexican imagine how sad was that). After that, I've had one night stands with guys or short friend with benefits "relationships" (until they ghost me or something like that). Now during these times is harder for me to be single... all my closer friends are starting to get married or they are in long, stable relationships and in this whole time I haven't had a partner.
People usually tell me that I'm beautiful and have a beautiful smile... for me that's so hard to believe, there are even days I can't stand seeing myself in the mirror (I don't know if you've ever felt like this but it's HORRIBLE). And sometimes I fantasize eith plastic cirgury (even considering to go to Colombia and get a combo of plastic cirguries).
Now I've been ghosted by a man again and you know, my brain can't even understand why and I start to get obsessed. I've reread the conversations trying to understand what did I do wrong? Why again? Why nobody wants to be with me...? I just don't want to feel rejected ever again
Thanks for reading until here and if there's someone looking for a friend, please let me know
Love,
LPG
In the past few days I've been feeling particularly ugly and unworthy again. My thoughts are a mess and I'm not even able to put them into words...
I've been rejected once again by a man and it only makes me confirm my ideas of being ugly and completely unworthy. I'm 27 years old and last time I had a boyfriend was when I was 13 and we were together for 2 years (we broke up on my 15th birthday... being Mexican imagine how sad was that). After that, I've had one night stands with guys or short friend with benefits "relationships" (until they ghost me or something like that). Now during these times is harder for me to be single... all my closer friends are starting to get married or they are in long, stable relationships and in this whole time I haven't had a partner.
People usually tell me that I'm beautiful and have a beautiful smile... for me that's so hard to believe, there are even days I can't stand seeing myself in the mirror (I don't know if you've ever felt like this but it's HORRIBLE). And sometimes I fantasize eith plastic cirgury (even considering to go to Colombia and get a combo of plastic cirguries).
Now I've been ghosted by a man again and you know, my brain can't even understand why and I start to get obsessed. I've reread the conversations trying to understand what did I do wrong? Why again? Why nobody wants to be with me...? I just don't want to feel rejected ever again
Thanks for reading until here and if there's someone looking for a friend, please let me know
Love,
LPG