Venting Feeling so sad

[Lara Francis]

Feeling so sad today,my mood has taken a decline and when I woke this morning,my first thought was my boy followed by ending my life.

I have told myself to try and put all my efforts into life for 8 weeks to prove to social services that i can cope.
This is the time now remaining until i find out if my boy returns into my care.

I have joined slimming world,seen friends,over spent buying things for the house and yet everything still seems unimportant and a chore.The only thing i enjoy is spending the hour i get to spend supervised with my son 3 times a week but then i am left deflated when i wave him goodbye as the carer drives away with him.
I hope with all my heart that he is returned but i have a feeling that they will say that i need to show i am mentally stable for a longer time period.
I feel very scared that this will be the outcome and how i will respond.My friends think i should prepare myself but
Even if its for a few months longer,i will be devastated.
I am really trying so hard to live but on some days everything drags me under and no type of distraction works.
I feel that my life is on a possible countdown.The last court date is on 20th August and if he is not reterned i am commited to ending my life because i know i wont be able to take anymore!
I feel so scared and alone and dont know what to do.
I am very tired and cant keep going around and around like this!

 

[Righttodie]

Feeling so sad today,my mood has taken a decline and when I woke this morning,my first thought was my boy followed by ending my life.

I have told myself to try and put all my efforts into life for 8 weeks to prove to social services that i can cope.
This is the time now remaining until i find out if my boy returns into my care.

I have joined slimming world,seen friends,over spent buying things for the house and yet everything still seems unimportant and a chore.The only thing i enjoy is spending the hour i get to spend supervised with my son 3 times a week but then i am left deflated when i wave him goodbye as the carer drives away with him.
I hope with all my heart that he is returned but i have a feeling that they will say that i need to show i am mentally stable for a longer time period.
I feel very scared that this will be the outcome and how i will respond.My friends think i should prepare myself but
Even if its for a few months longer,i will be devastated.
I am really trying so hard to live but on some days everything drags me under and no type of distraction works.
I feel that my life is on a possible countdown.The last court date is on 20th August and if he is not reterned i am commited to ending my life because i know i wont be able to take anymore!
I feel so scared and alone and dont know what to do.
I am very tired and cant keep going around and around like this!

I wish you weren't suffering so much.
I know it can be terrible to feel so alone and it just gets tiring when you try everything to get going but can't.

 

[bluesky1972-2019]

One day at a time and do your best. That's all anyone can do. Hopefully things will work out for you x

 

[Righttodie]

Just know you are doing all you can and should. And do share more, we will surely listen to you.