Venting feeling rly lost and scared

[usernamegoeshere]

hi guys, this is my first thread on here, and i could be doing this wrong !! but i kind of just want to get some stuff of my mind since im currently in the midst of a small panic attack and i've been wanting to say hi to you guys for a while now!!

anyways, it's safe to say im struggling with disordered eating. not because i want to be thinner or a body image thing, but my body physically doesn't accept food, so i dont eat. and i have awful emetophobia that gave me an ed when i was a kid, and i just feel like im regressing. im at my lowest right now, but im desperately trying to not give in. it's just really hard when it feels like im taking care of a body that's trying to destroy itself

im heading to uni in two weeks as well. i cant even think about it. it doesn't even seem real. everything just feels so dim right now and it's really hard to see a future of any kind. i never thought i'd even make it to uni, even when i was like 12. and now im here, and im wondering why? i dunno, im just a complete wreck rn :(

in better news ! i'm getting a psych!! FINALLY after 5 years of discussion im finally getting a psych! (although i've already been rejected by one for having too many problems... baby isnt that ur job???) im hoping to get some meds that will help with these awful feelings. anyways !! if this is the wrong place to post this please please let me know since my thoughts are so so scrambled right now but i hope to be able to talk to some of u guys more :) ty for reading if u did

 

[avalokitesvara]

Sorry you're having such a scary time. It's so hard when you're trying to be well and get help but your body seems to be against you. Starting uni is a stressful time so I hope you can be kind to yourself and let people know if you start struggling even more. Congratulations for getting into uni, that's awesome

 

[usernamegoeshere]

Sorry you're having such a scary time. It's so hard when you're trying to be well and get help but your body seems to be against you. Starting uni is a stressful time so I hope you can be kind to yourself and let people know if you start struggling even more. Congratulations for getting into uni, that's awesome

thank u so much!! im trying my best ^_^

 

[selfaware?]

hi guys, this is my first thread on here, and i could be doing this wrong !! but i kind of just want to get some stuff of my mind since im currently in the midst of a small panic attack and i've been wanting to say hi to you guys for a while now!!

anyways, it's safe to say im struggling with disordered eating. not because i want to be thinner or a body image thing, but my body physically doesn't accept food, so i dont eat. and i have awful emetophobia that gave me an ed when i was a kid, and i just feel like im regressing. im at my lowest right now, but im desperately trying to not give in. it's just really hard when it feels like im taking care of a body that's trying to destroy itself

im heading to uni in two weeks as well. i cant even think about it. it doesn't even seem real. everything just feels so dim right now and it's really hard to see a future of any kind. i never thought i'd even make it to uni, even when i was like 12. and now im here, and im wondering why? i dunno, im just a complete wreck rn :(

in better news ! i'm getting a psych!! FINALLY after 5 years of discussion im finally getting a psych! (although i've already been rejected by one for having too many problems... baby isnt that ur job???) im hoping to get some meds that will help with these awful feelings. anyways !! if this is the wrong place to post this please please let me know since my thoughts are so so scrambled right now but i hope to be able to talk to some of u guys more :) ty for reading if u did

Hey, i know the feeling of being scared and lost, even when you achieve things that you never felt possible! Its like doubting yourself, "do i really deserve this?" even if you know you did well. Getting into university isnt easy, and you've done it!!
Maybe you can try to congrat yourself a little bit more, even if you think its something that you see as minimal (well, thats what i try and sometimes do, idk if it can help you).

Also, congrats on getting medical help, it may seem scary but sometimes people need some help from medications, it isnt something bad! Dont think it will fix all of those negative feelings though, sadly it isnt magical, but it will help you a ton.
I haven't experienced what you are going through with your body, so i can't talk much about it, but, dont give up, try your best like you've said in the other comment :)

Oh, i got a suggestion for university, even if its scary, try to talk to some people that you think are interesting, this is my personal opinion, you can take it or not, but honestly getting some social environment makes things easier. Because literally EVERYONE is starting from 0, MOST PEOPLE are open to being SOCIAL, since they are lost in this new stage of life!

 

[usernamegoeshere]

Hey, i know the feeling of being scared and lost, even when you achieve things that you never felt possible! Its like doubting yourself, "do i really deserve this?" even if you know you did well. Getting into university isnt easy, and you've done it!!
Maybe you can try to congrat yourself a little bit more, even if you think its something that you see as minimal (well, thats what i try and sometimes do, idk if it can help you).

Also, congrats on getting medical help, it may seem scary but sometimes people need some help from medications, it isnt something bad! Dont think it will fix all of those negative feelings though, sadly it isnt magical, but it will help you a ton.
I haven't experienced what you are going through with your body, so i can't talk much about it, but, dont give up, try your best like you've said in the other comment :)

Oh, i got a suggestion for university, even if its scary, try to talk to some people that you think are interesting, this is my personal opinion, you can take it or not, but honestly getting some social environment makes things easier. Because literally EVERYONE is starting from 0, MOST PEOPLE are open to being SOCIAL, since they are lost in this new stage of life!

thank u thank u thank u!!! i'm really gonna try to not shut myself in my dorm and work (like an average stem major) but it'll be scary for sure. i'm trying!! :D

 

[selfaware?]

thank u thank u thank u!!! i'm really gonna try to not shut myself in my dorm and work (like an average stem major) but it'll be scary for sure. i'm trying!! :D

No worries :D, btw im also on stem (an engineering career), so trying to not shut yourself is hard due to the stem area itself, but what helps me sometimes (i barely do it though haha) is studying in the library, even if you dont talk with anyone you are seeing people, it may seem like nothing but it helps! Keep trying, even if you "fail", the important thing is to continue pushing!

 

[usernamegoeshere]

No worries :D, btw im also on stem (an engineering career), so trying to not shut yourself is hard due to the stem area itself, but what helps me sometimes (i barely do it though haha) is studying in the library, even if you dont talk with anyone you are seeing people, it may seem like nothing but it helps! Keep trying, even if you "fail", the important thing is to continue pushing!

i'm doing physics!! but a bit worried about my future career potential cuz of the whole ai thing

 

[selfaware?]

i'm doing physics!! but a bit worried about my future career potential cuz of the whole ai thing

wowww i also wanted to study physics, but i decided to go into engineering due to a lot of factors haha including that i love tech. Imo dont be scared of ai, it wont be able to destroy any careers, just make things easier to work with. It works with what we know, it isnt able to discover stuff. Also all of the quantum physics stuff my god thats so interesting, id love to research about that lol

wowww i also wanted to study physics, but i decided to go into engineering due to a lot of factors haha including that i love tech. Imo dont be scared of ai, it wont be able to destroy any careers, just make things easier to work with. It works with what we know, it isnt able to discover stuff. Also all of the quantum physics stuff my god thats so interesting, id love to research about that lol

be scared if we get to the point of ai being conscious (i dont think it will ever happen) + it lacks a whole lot of context, not to mention they dont have REAL emotions, they can only simulate them