Discussion Feeling Numb.

[Robbyna]

Is anyone else feeling numb and out of touch with life? Nothing has any meaning to me and it's beginning to scare me. I feel so out of touch with life and the things others care about. I know this is at least in part due to my decision to CTB, but it's gotten to the point where I barely comprehend humor. Nothing makes me laugh anymore. I feel numb and complete apathy towards life like an alien.

 

[throwaway777]

me too .. completely numb towards anything .. only thing that makes me feel everything is thinking about my friends and how much i will miss them when i kms ):

 

[Robbyna]

The only thing I feel when I'm not numb I fear.
Fear of living any longer and things getting worse and fear of dying and the unknown.

 

[StillWaiting]

Same here. Nothing feels real to me. It also scares me that nothing makes me feel happy and okay for long.
Everyday I just wake up ,do the things I dont enjoy ,go sleep and repeat the same old thing

 

[sad_frog]

The numbness is the scariest part about my depression experience. When I start to feel numb there is nothing to distract me from my thoughts of self harm and suicide. I don't even know if I'm having actual thoughts sometimes, it's like I'm already brain dead.

The few passions that helped me keep my head above water becomes pointless, the way I/others perceive me becomes pointless, my relationships hopes and dreams are ALL pointless. Even getting out of bed to eat and shower become pointless. Breathing is all I can do in the numb state.

I'm always looking for an answer on how to get my interests back but I'm afraid that I'm looking for an answer that doesn't exist.
The "just do it" outlook doesn't help the numbness because I don't have any interest in doing anything. I can't even IMAGINE something that would make me happy, even if I had all the time and money in the world. I'm scared.

 

[BipolarExpat]

The "just do it" outlook doesn't help the numbness because I don't have any interest in doing anything. I can't even IMAGINE something that would make me happy, even if I had all the time and money in the world. I'm scared.

The only thing I can tell you is you're not alone..., even though most of the time it feels like you are.

 

[Robbyna]

The numbness is the scariest part about my depression experience. When I start to feel numb there is nothing to distract me from my thoughts of self harm and suicide. I don't even know if I'm having actual thoughts sometimes, it's like I'm already brain dead.

The few passions that helped me keep my head above water becomes pointless, the way I/others perceive me becomes pointless, my relationships hopes and dreams are ALL pointless. Even getting out of bed to eat and shower become pointless. Breathing is all I can do in the numb state.

I'm always looking for an answer on how to get my interests back but I'm afraid that I'm looking for an answer that doesn't exist.
The "just do it" outlook doesn't help the numbness because I don't have any interest in doing anything. I can't even IMAGINE something that would make me happy, even if I had all the time and money in the world. I'm scared.

I can relate to this. I fear that it wouldn't matter how my circumstances changed I'd still feel this empty numbness. I just want to die.

 

[Severen]

Is anyone else feeling numb and out of touch with life? Nothing has any meaning to me and it's beginning to scare me. I feel so out of touch with life and the things others care about. I know this is at least in part due to my decision to CTB, but it's gotten to the point where I barely comprehend humor. Nothing makes me laugh anymore. I feel numb and complete apathy towards life like an alien.

Yes, while I was deeply depressed without being treated. And after I had a really bad case of PTSD with no medication to deal with it... But later on, I started feeling human again.

 

[faultypiston]

Yes, absolutely. My passions and hobbies no longer bring me a sense of accomplishment or adventure. I can only really be immersed in planning my suicide these days.

 

[Tortured_empath]

The numbness is the scariest part about my depression experience. When I start to feel numb there is nothing to distract me from my thoughts of self harm and suicide. I don't even know if I'm having actual thoughts sometimes, it's like I'm already brain dead.

The few passions that helped me keep my head above water becomes pointless, the way I/others perceive me becomes pointless, my relationships hopes and dreams are ALL pointless. Even getting out of bed to eat and shower become pointless. Breathing is all I can do in the numb state.

I'm always looking for an answer on how to get my interests back but I'm afraid that I'm looking for an answer that doesn't exist.
The "just do it" outlook doesn't help the numbness because I don't have any interest in doing anything. I can't even IMAGINE something that would make me happy, even if I had all the time and money in the world. I'm scared.

Wow I can relate to this perfectly. There is no reward, no point in doing anything, so you just exist... it's horrible. I also have trouble emotionally connecting to others, total apathy. It feels like my brain is broken.

 

[Dreamcolleger]

I've found if you really want to CTB you have to be careful to not fall too far into this, or you may not even have enough in you to end it.

 

[Numbtopain97]

Yes. There are certain things that I still have strong swaying emotions for, but typically I see everything as "eh."