Venting Feeling miserable

[serah]

It's just getting harder and harder to fucking deal with all of this shit. I have a date set yet its still months away. All of my friends just toss me to a side when shit gets bad and I'm not as entertaining to be around. Dealing with other people is tiring. I'm on my 5th rejection from a job interview and it's starting to fucking sting how much my only choice is to just ctb. I feel tired and I spend my days wishing I didn't have to deal with the fucking hell that is social anxiety. I hate how much everything in this world revolves around human interactions. School, work, certain hobbies, any kind of relationship. If you can't atleast mask how anxious you are, others just see you as a joke. Even if you can cope with the fact that you're going to be alone, you can't stop it from fucking hurting so much. Even if you manage to find friends most of them will eventually abandon you. Lately I've just felt so much explosive anger and I hate it. Even if my friends were to remain I've noticed I've become such a bitter person to be around. I switch from being fine to suddenly feeling extremely suicidal. When I'm not in college I spend the rest of my fucking day sleeping and smoking. I've been on this site for almost two years now and it just feels like I've done nothing at all, if anything I've only gotten worse. I'm sorry to all of those that also were cursed with living a life they didn't ask for and don't belong in.

 

[Lily (Osako)]

I'm so sorry you're suffering like this. I wish I had the answers. All I can say is that I'm here for you if you ever need someone to talk with.

 

[LaVieEnRose]

I'm sorry to hear how you're suffering and know how bad anxiety can be.

Do you think things would be better after college? I admire the strength you've shown trying to study while feeling this way.

I know the job search is grueling but what you've described is pretty par for the course. Remember that when you get rejcted, many other people get rejected too. It's easy to forget that.

 

[theboy]

I'm sorry you're suffering the torment. I wish you a lot of peace. Here's someone you can talk to if you want. A big hug

 

[serah]

I'm sorry to hear how you're suffering and know how bad anxiety can be.

Do you think things would be better after college? I admire the strength you've shown trying to study while feeling this way.

I know the job search is grueling but what you've described is pretty par for the course. Remember that when you get rejcted, many other people get rejected too. It's easy to forget that.

I always try to keep in mind that rejection is normal and its just part of the process. I have no clue if I'll make it to the end of my studies, mostly because I don't see much changing. Thank you though :)

 

[LaVieEnRose]

I always try to keep in mind that rejection is normal and its just part of the process. I have no clue if I'll make it to the end of my studies, mostly because I don't see much changing. Thank you though :)

Well, gaining independence and establishing a career have made a difference for others so maybe they would do the same for you.

 

[Ixadavt]

It's just getting harder and harder to fucking deal with all of this shit. I have a date set yet its still months away. All of my friends just toss me to a side when shit gets bad and I'm not as entertaining to be around. Dealing with other people is tiring. I'm on my 5th rejection from a job interview and it's starting to fucking sting how much my only choice is to just ctb. I feel tired and I spend my days wishing I didn't have to deal with the fucking hell that is social anxiety. I hate how much everything in this world revolves around human interactions. School, work, certain hobbies, any kind of relationship. If you can't atleast mask how anxious you are, others just see you as a joke. Even if you can cope with the fact that you're going to be alone, you can't stop it from fucking hurting so much. Even if you manage to find friends most of them will eventually abandon you. Lately I've just felt so much explosive anger and I hate it. Even if my friends were to remain I've noticed I've become such a bitter person to be around. I switch from being fine to suddenly feeling extremely suicidal. When I'm not in college I spend the rest of my fucking day sleeping and smoking. I've been on this site for almost two years now and it just feels like I've done nothing at all, if anything I've only gotten worse. I'm sorry to all of those that also were cursed with living a life they didn't ask for and don't belong in.

If you're not a salesperson, there is no place in this society for you. Exciting extroverts who are addicted to testosterone and adrenaline have an entire planet all there own. The rest of us...I'm three months out from my date as well. That's about 27 years too long.
I too haven't spoken to my only friend in almost two weeks; since I had a rough night. I feel for you. Unless you learn to their game, for me anymore, it just becomes a waiting game.

Well, gaining independence and establishing a career have made a difference for others so maybe they would do the same for you.

If you don't have the personally to sell yourself, interviews rejections are a foregone conclusion. I've been interviewing for 26 years and never passed one. Every job has been through a friend or a employer so desperate for people that the interview is a formality.
The words are easy to say, but for some, getting a career, getting in the door, that's the impossibility; some just don't have the social skills.

 

[FuneralCry]

I've never really seen myself as belonging to this world as well. Life does just seem to be endless misery and suffering, it sounds really tiring what you have to endure. I'm sorry that you are trapped in this situation. I hope that in whatever happens you find relief from what you are going through.