A very significant reason why I am choosing to CTB is because I feel very strongly that my life in particular has no significance. I admit that this is a petty thing to say, but I have a need to feel like I play a significant role in the world around me. I think many people feel the same way, but are too embarrassed to ever admit to it. I think beyond the basic survival needs people have, there can be other needs depending on a person's own psychology and circumstances. A better way to describe this feeling is to imagine feeling like you are a small creature in the grand scheme of the world. I feel like an amoeba that is aware of the immense number of higher functioning creatures that exist, and wanting very badly to become something greater than just an amoeba. If someone is happy being an amoeba in the grand scheme of life, there is nothing wrong with that. I personally feel heavy discontent with my position in the world, and my lot in life, to the point of rather dying than continuing to live. As far as how my spirituality fits into this, I feel that the cycle of death and rebirth is inherently benevolent, and progress continues no matter what. I think it is a misconception to say that after death, we could reincarnate as something lesser than what we were, such as an insect, animal, etc. That isn't to say that our next reincarnation will be pure bliss, but it will be inherently better fit to teach us the lessons that we weren't able to learn in our current lifetime. I believe that my next lifetime will be objectively better, whether it means having higher status, a better family, better social environment, so long as these benefits act as a vehicle for greater spiritual growth.
LaVieEnRose
Angelic
- Jul 23, 2022
- 4,174
Your feelings are understandable. Some people have more of a need to feel that they are contributing to something momentous. With so many people nowadays it can be hard not to feel like a drop in the ocean. The truth is that most of us will never reach our full potential, though I suppose some get much closer than others. That doesn't have to necessarily be cause for despair, though. True success in life is striving to be the best you can in the roles that you play. It's not a matter of always achieving those ideals; what matters is to continue to strive towards them.
Never underestimate the influence of your actions. At the risk of sounding hokey everything we do is like throwing a stone into a pond and so much positive change can be effected through the simple ripple effect, change we won't necessarily be aware of. As the Talmud says, "to save a life is to save the world".
I know this may be sound overly optimistic, but I think these are good ways to try to come to terms with your position in the big, wide world.
Never underestimate the influence of your actions. At the risk of sounding hokey everything we do is like throwing a stone into a pond and so much positive change can be effected through the simple ripple effect, change we won't necessarily be aware of. As the Talmud says, "to save a life is to save the world".
I know this may be sound overly optimistic, but I think these are good ways to try to come to terms with your position in the big, wide world.
I suppose your right. Idk. I was planning on CTB this month, but I'll probably have to reschedule for next month or even February since I'm having trouble sourcing metoclopramide. I'll keep what you said in mind in case anything changes.
