Feeling like it will get better destroys me further...

[saionara]

hello.

its fairly simple and i have no idea what is going on and why. I just need some responses i guess. It all fucking sucks. Today i only thought about killing myself and after spending the whole day browsing i made an account. It was womens day here (its international but people think its more important here than some other places) and i couldnt go protest or message my gf or my mom. I wont even delete my history anymore i just want my gf to see if she goes on to check my phone without my permission again. After my first relationship being extremely toxic I thought I would evade living such things again. I thought it would get better. Sometimes i feel like it never does. When i feel it does, i hate everything i feel when i am down. Just fuck everything. I am so fucking lost. I just want to get out of this cycle... if anyone knows any resources for sn in turkey? I dont know. Fuck this. Fuck

 

[ermurazor]

Hello!
I feel you so much. All of my relationships so far turned out to be extremely toxic too, which is why i keep people at arms length and dont let anyone come too close. I feel like im a magnet for toxic people.
I often wonder if its gets better someday, but something inside tells me it wont.

 

[FuneralCry]

It certainly can be so awful feeling trapped here and it's true that other people very often just cause more suffering. It's very much understandable wishing to be free from this hellish world, but anyway I hope that you find what you are looking for.