Feeling like I’m just looking at other people’s lives and just…

[never]

Feeling like I'm looking at other people's lives and I just feel like they're doing a lot better relative to me. Everyone is being successful and I'm wondering if everything isn't happening because I've given up. I don't want to be successful in this life. I say this because it's so hard to even be positive and know how things are. I take what I get and I'm kind of just autopiloting now. I feel like I'm close to the end. I ordered my SN a few days ago and it'll be here in a few days. Once it's here, I'm gonna try and pick a day and just do it. I think my time is coming. I can definitely feel it.

 

[justwannadip]

I understand. I automatically and uncontrollably compare myself relentlessly to others, especially former partners. Its comparison trauma from being constantly belittled and compared to an overachieving older sister. I even got a plaque that said "underachiever and proud of it" with bart simpson on it for christmas by my mom a few years ago. It was weird cus I'd never gotten a physical representation of how they'd belittled me, it was always just constant verbal criticism. Anyways man, I get it. My ocd took my comparison trauma and low self worth to exponentially high levels to where every single behaviour I do, every thought that I have, every emotion I have, is compared to others—and I'm always losing. Hope you find peace somehow, I know how difficult things can get.

 

[FuneralCry]

I wish you the best, I understand feeling so tired of suffering in this existence.

 

[Apathy79]

I think the lives most people present to the world are quite different from the ones they actually live.

E.g. I've got a couple next door whose social media looks incredible. All the travel pics, the wedding, the nights out, pics in nature, with friends having fun, etc. Yet they yell at each other endlessly and are constantly angry and depressed. I can't recall ever seeing either of them happy, outside of posing for photos. Their real life is hell.

I think that's possibly an extreme example but nevertheless the principle is extremely common, almost universal. Not just on social media either. I also think many people are good at appearing to be in good spirits where internally they are a mess. Everyone I've met who ctb, no-one saw it coming. They always "seemed fine".

The guy I knew better than anyone for my whole life and saw almost literally every day for big chunks of it managed to shock me (and everyone else) with how awful his life was internally, despite all the external indicators looking good.

So I doubt most life comparisons are going to be accurate or meaningful.

 

[Velvetwhisper]

Feeling like I'm looking at other people's lives and I just feel like they're doing a lot better relative to me. Everyone is being successful and I'm wondering if everything isn't happening because I've given up. I don't want to be successful in this life. I say this because it's so hard to even be positive and know how things are. I take what I get and I'm kind of just autopiloting now. I feel like I'm close to the end. I ordered my SN a few days ago and it'll be here in a few days. Once it's here, I'm gonna try and pick a day and just do it. I think my time is coming. I can definitely feel it.

I wish you all the best. May you find peace . I also feel the same btw, I'm gonna CTB this coming weekend.