ScaredCutter
₊✩‧₊˚౨ৎ˚₊✩‧₊ Finding a Reason ₊✩‧₊˚౨ৎ˚₊✩‧₊
- Oct 16, 2025
- 89
For a while now, maybe 2 weeks or more ive been gradually feeling angry, jealous, sad and envious about his friends and its accumlating more everyday,
my mind has been making up unimagineable scenarios about what vpuld be going on but, it keeps coming back constantly and its starting to feel believeable even though its not.
Im unable to cope about how ive been feeling and i might end up losing it and go off about it to him. I dont want to hurt him or anything, i dont want him to feel like he should have JUST me and nobody else. ill eventually try to be controlling and act like i own him and that i must be making his decisions for him and that i know whats "right" for him.
I even may start questioning the people hes friends with because i dont trust them at all and will believe they are being a bad influence on him and that they must be hurting him.
i even may start hinting at it by being harsher on my imagery and comparing myself to them and itll cause problems again.
i really am holding back on it and trying to not let it slip because i know how much it hurts him and id never want to repeat the past but, im not sure what i could possibly do right now.
idk if ill get funds for the clinical psychologist since my NDIS funds need to be on smth but, i have hope anyways.
i have this horrible habit of trying to stalk his accounts to see who he might be playing with.
Im unable to cope about how ive been feeling and i might end up losing it and go off about it to him. I dont want to hurt him or anything, i dont want him to feel like he should have JUST me and nobody else. ill eventually try to be controlling and act like i own him and that i must be making his decisions for him and that i know whats "right" for him.
I even may start questioning the people hes friends with because i dont trust them at all and will believe they are being a bad influence on him and that they must be hurting him.
i even may start hinting at it by being harsher on my imagery and comparing myself to them and itll cause problems again.
i really am holding back on it and trying to not let it slip because i know how much it hurts him and id never want to repeat the past but, im not sure what i could possibly do right now.
idk if ill get funds for the clinical psychologist since my NDIS funds need to be on smth but, i have hope anyways.
