Venting feeling like a bother tonight

[iftheworldwasending]

i find myself consistently feeling like a huge bother to everyone around me. i feel like i truly don't fit in anywhere, not online, not irl, just nowhere really. the people who say they care about me, i feel really don't. i've had people tell me it's just in my head because of my mental illness, but i can't help but feel that even when i'm trying to help, i'm just a nuisance. i either feel too distant or too overwhelming and suffocating to the people who mean something to me. i just spend my days wishing i fit in somewhere, or someone truly cared about me enough to make me feel welcome in life.

<3

 

[OminousVaL]

I am unable to truly fit in as well, even if the group considers me one of them the disconnect inside myself says otherwise. For the little it is worth you have had no negative impacts on me so you are welcomed to PM me should you wish to talk.

 

[sinbound haibane]

It's very sad to be alone. The body and mind start to just give up. I can relate to the constant insecurity as to whether or not the people who say they care really do. Watching yourself push people away when you're trying to find something to hold onto, feeling yourself become less and less capable of acting in a way that would keep them around. I'm sorry to hear you're going through these things as well.

 

[dropdeadfred]

Me, the alien... my entire life. Hugs.

 

[iftheworldwasending]

Me, the alien... my entire life. Hugs.

you really are my internet twin flame <3

 

[whywere]

YOU ARE NOT A NUISANCE at all, to anyone and especially with your global family. I am so proud to be able to call you family and you have been so nice, loving, caring and so much empathy towards me that I consider you like a sister to me. You ARE THE BEST and NEVER EVER think that you are a bother. With out people like you I WOULD NOT be here. All my love, caring empathy and kindness that I have in my fiber goes out to you for real!! Walter

 

[Deleted member 23009]

You're probably overthinking everything and putting a lot of pressure on yourself on how to act. Might sound cliché or whatever but just try and be yourself. If you try to be someone you're not, you won't be happy. And if being yourself makes you lonely, then that might be better than surrounded by fake people. Then again you say you have people that tell you they care about you and that you're just making things up in your mind. It's hard to not doubt things yes, but maybe try and put some faith in them some more? If you have real friends that say those things then you're probably not being a nuisance to them.

But yeah I get the feeling of never fitting in. I've felt the same my whole life and often wondered if this place is for me, or why I'm here and I feel so alone, watching everyone else around me. It really sucks feeling so out of place. I hope that part about being a nuisance gets better for you. You can doubt yourself however much you want and make up infinite scenarios in your head that aren't true. It all comes down to what people tell you about how they perceive you and somehow you have to learn to trust that. Or try to be more secure and accepting of yourself. Because just based on what you're saying it sounds like you're giving yourself so much negativity :/

We're here for you, you're not alone

 

[ThrownAwayTom]

Yeah this sounds a lot like me. I have a group of friends who all chat and stuff on discord every night but I can't join cos I feel like I kill all the fun just by joining. It's the same with family, I just get in their way or bother them by being there. I could go the SN route and know it would take at least 48 hours for anyone in my house to notice cos I know I am just an annoyance.

 

[JustKillBen22]

i find myself consistently feeling like a huge bother to everyone around me. i feel like i truly don't fit in anywhere, not online, not irl, just nowhere really. the people who say they care about me, i feel really don't. i've had people tell me it's just in my head because of my mental illness, but i can't help but feel that even when i'm trying to help, i'm just a nuisance. i either feel too distant or too overwhelming and suffocating to the people who mean something to me. i just spend my days wishing i fit in somewhere, or someone truly cared about me enough to make me feel welcome in life.

<3

I know it's not much but I'll always be here for you, until the day I die, I promise. You're one of the best people I know and I love you.

 

[TooConscious]

Ive always felt like the ugly duckling. One of my earliest memories is that poem and I believe it was either the universe telling me the story of my life or I identified with it and it stayed in my persona. I don't fit in anywhere it's like I'm missing a part of my brain or somethings completely malfunctioned.

 

[Deleted member 17949]

I feel like this too tbh, don't have any advice, but you're not alone

 

[demuic]

I completely relate. It's so hard living like this. Constantly on the outside looking in.

 

[iftheworldwasending]

YOU ARE NOT A NUISANCE at all, to anyone and especially with your global family. I am so proud to be able to call you family and you have been so nice, loving, caring and so much empathy towards me that I consider you like a sister to me. You ARE THE BEST and NEVER EVER think that you are a bother. With out people like you I WOULD NOT be here. All my love, caring empathy and kindness that I have in my fiber goes out to you for real!! Walter

this is so unbelievably sweet, truly made me smile. thank you so much for your kind words. that means so much.

You're probably overthinking everything and putting a lot of pressure on yourself on how to act. Might sound cliché or whatever but just try and be yourself. If you try to be someone you're not, you won't be happy. And if being yourself makes you lonely, then that might be better than surrounded by fake people. Then again you say you have people that tell you they care about you and that you're just making things up in your mind. It's hard to not doubt things yes, but maybe try and put some faith in them some more? If you have real friends that say those things then you're probably not being a nuisance to them.

But yeah I get the feeling of never fitting in. I've felt the same my whole life and often wondered if this place is for me, or why I'm here and I feel so alone, watching everyone else around me. It really sucks feeling so out of place. I hope that part about being a nuisance gets better for you. You can doubt yourself however much you want and make up infinite scenarios in your head that aren't true. It all comes down to what people tell you about how they perceive you and somehow you have to learn to trust that. Or try to be more secure and accepting of yourself. Because just based on what you're saying it sounds like you're giving yourself so much negativity :/

We're here for you, you're not alone

thank you so much :( i know i can be incredibly hard on myself 99.9% of the time.