Help Feeling impulsive

[Pryras]

So I ran here before taking anything. I wish I didn't have these episodes. I know I shouldn't hurt myself over someone else but I always feel like I'm the second choice, that I'm not good enough.

when l vent about it I get: "it's all in your head nobody thinks that way!"

well....my life experiences don't help, it keeps happening and I can't take it anymore. Sounds like I'm pitying myself I just wish the people who hurt me could say sorry. I would feel a bit of relief. I know
I'm not worth the effort, I always end up as collateral damage anyway.

advice to overcome these thoughts?

 

[s1mplem3]

I've been always thinking about other people first and then they just take advantage eventually. People are selfish and don't give a shit that you also have feelings. Now I'm just trying to forget past and not thinking about it. Just don't expect good things in your life and you won't be upset.

 

[crazy1]

I always wished the people that hurt me would apologize to me, like it would make things better, accepting that it's never going to happen is hard and for feeling like your not good enough over someone else's actions, people are shit and its probably nothing you've done.

 

[Pryras]

I've been always thinking about other people first and then they just take advantage eventually. People are selfish and don't give a shit that you also have feelings. Now I'm just trying to forget past and not thinking about it. Just don't expect good things in your life and you won't be upset.

yeah Ive been exploited by nearly every "friendship" which is why I don't have any anymore....it's my people pleasing attitude and it's killing me.

 

[Ame]

...when l vent about it I get: "it's all in your head nobody thinks that way!"

On some level, I really believe that all of us want to be heard and understood. When you shared your frustrations with your friends, I am guessing that you wanted them to understand that you were hurting. I'm so sorry that you tried to reach out but ended up getting the responses that you've described, it sounds quite invalidating. When people see someone they care about in pain, I think there is this tendency to try and soothe them by minimizing whatever is said to be causing the anguish (for example, saying things like: "oh no, that's not true!" or "don't be upset - there is really no reason for it!"). Unfortunately, very often the attempts of comforting loved ones can end up being emotionally invalidating, which can be extremely painful in its own right.

I hope that you can appreciate yourself and accept that your feelings are valid. If others cannot acknowledge that much; then it has more to do with them not knowing how to deal with the pain of others in a way that is constructive. It doesn't say anything about you nor does it diminish your worth as a person. I'm aware that we haven't spoken very much, but from your posts you seem to be a lovely person with a lot to offer others. Maybe, with time, you can learn how to nurture yourself as you would someone you care about (like your special friend in your display picture!) and set healthy boundaries so that others don't exploit you.

You mention waiting for an apology (and maybe it is one that may never come around) but perhaps you could start by being gentle with yourself. It is a little something to consider for the time being.

 

[Pryras]

On some level, I really believe that all of us want to be heard and understood. When you shared your frustrations with your friends, I am guessing that you wanted them to understand that you were hurting. I'm so sorry that you tried to reach out but ended up getting the responses that you've described, it sounds quite invalidating. When people see someone they care about in pain, I think there is this tendency to try and soothe them by minimizing whatever is said to be causing the anguish (for example, saying things like: "oh no, that's not true!" or "don't be upset - there is really no reason for it!"). Unfortunately, very often the attempts of comforting loved ones can end up being emotionally invalidating, which can be extremely painful in its own right.

I hope that you can appreciate yourself and accept that your feelings are valid. If others cannot acknowledge that much; then it has more to do with them not knowing how to deal with the pain of others in a way that is constructive. It doesn't say anything about you nor does it diminish your worth as a person. I'm aware that we haven't spoken very much, but from your posts you seem to be a lovely person with a lot to offer others. Maybe, with time, you can learn how to nurture yourself as you would someone you care about (like your special friend in your display picture!) and set healthy boundaries so that others don't exploit you.

You mention waiting for an apology (and maybe it is one that may never come around) but perhaps you could start by being gentle with yourself. It is a little something to consider for the time being.

Well said and thank you