Feeling embarrassed

[ilovemydog]

It's embarrassing that I'm completely ready but then I never do anything about it.. It's frustrating and embarrassing. I've been losing more and more in my life, and am essentially homeless and alone, except for my dog. My health isn't great and I've been through so much. I keep losing everything I care about and I'm scared to lose more. I need to just get a gun and end this suffering

 

[anhedonya]

I don't think you're embarrassing. CTB is not an easy task and the human brain is hard-wired to do everything it possibly can to keep us alive. We have evolved to be an enduring species and a survival instinct is no joke. Even with something as simple as an injury, I remember falling and getting one a while ago and I don't even remember how, exactly, I pushed through that and got myself inside. Something overtook my brain and did the hard part for me until it was safe again. I say all of this to show you that whatever your feelings are on CTB and your life circumstances, they do not reflect poorly on you. Nothing about this situation says that you can't follow through or something like that.

I'm so sorry to hear about the difficulties you've been through. I'm glad you have your dog to keep you company, but the way life can beat a person down is beyond words. Even if you are physically alone, please know I am here for you. I will listen if you ever need someone to talk to. Is there no one that would be willing to take you in, even momentarily? No family that you could do house chores and things of that nature for in exchange for rent? If you have absolutely anyone you can ask help from, please do. You don't need to do anything except try to get some sleep tonight as it sounds like you've had a rough day. I really am sorry for how you've struggled. I'm wishing you the best of luck and that someday you and your dog can have a place of your own again.

 

[Lifeaffirmingchoice]

It's embarrassing that I'm completely ready but then I never do anything about it.. It's frustrating and embarrassing. I've been losing more and more in my life, and am essentially homeless and alone, except for my dog. My health isn't great and I've been through so much. I keep losing everything I care about and I'm scared to lose more. I need to just get a gun and end this suffering

What a difficult and painful situation. What mentally is holding you back?

 

[ilovemydog]

I don't think you're embarrassing. CTB is not an easy task and the human brain is hard-wired to do everything it possibly can to keep us alive. We have evolved to be an enduring species and a survival instinct is no joke. Even with something as simple as an injury, I remember falling and getting one a while ago and I don't even remember how, exactly, I pushed through that and got myself inside. Something overtook my brain and did the hard part for me until it was safe again. I say all of this to show you that whatever your feelings are on CTB and your life circumstances, they do not reflect poorly on you. Nothing about this situation says that you can't follow through or something like that.

I'm so sorry to hear about the difficulties you've been through. I'm glad you have your dog to keep you company, but the way life can beat a person down is beyond words. Even if you are physically alone, please know I am here for you. I will listen if you ever need someone to talk to. Is there no one that would be willing to take you in, even momentarily? No family that you could do house chores and things of that nature for in exchange for rent? If you have absolutely anyone you can ask help from, please do. You don't need to do anything except try to get some sleep tonight as it sounds like you've had a rough day. I really am sorry for how you've struggled. I'm wishing you the best of luck and that someday you and your dog can have a place of your own again.

Thank you so much, I can't tell you what that means to me