Feeling calmer now its arrived

[CyberCat95]

Ordered isopropyl nitrite and it arrived the other day. Had quite a lot of anxiety waiting for it, especially because post can be weird where I live and the buzzer for my flat doesn't work but I got it. The day it arrived I panicked a bit, mainly to do with storage concerns and the fact I'm moving soon. But now I do feel calmer. I don't have a set date in mind, there are a few things coming up I want to do but I need to wait for the dates of those. I'm going to try and have as much fun as I can until that point. I'm finding things easier to deal with now, had a rough day today but one of things that got me through/stopped me having a meltdown was remembering what's currently in the fridge and that nothing will matter soon.
I do feel bad the fact I'm moving and am planning to ctb soon but I think I decorated well enough for someone else to have the flat when I don't need it. Will need to sort out some kind of notes/will too

 

[FuneralCry]

I understand why you would feel calmer at having a way to finally leave this world, it must be a relief knowing that you have a way to free yourself from existing for when the time is right.