feeling a bit lost of what to do with my life

[Bitterman1996]

College drop out, i graduate high school in 2013. I'm 23 now. I guess my main issue is that i (still) think livable wage practically tied to a college degree and it's honestly expensive to enter one. On that note, I'm from a SEA Asian country. It's just that while it's arguably wiser to re-enter or maybe trying out other options like vocation school etc, I just feel clueless. Aside from art, i don't think there's anything else I currently enjoy doing. I failed my previous major because of my major depression and social anxiety made me unable to write a serviceable final paper (meeting teaching staffs and professor was hell, even if they might be "nice" people). That and the fact that I'm bad as managing long term project in general. i genuinely cannot say this to anyone else because i feel like they will laugh on it.

Recently I've few new online acquaintances/mutual i guess, and some of them speak of choosing their career prospect or why they ended up choosing certain courses more clearly then when i did, albeit part of it was meddled by my parents at the time. I just think to a degree I lack the necessary amount of ego to think about self-preservation. There's no sense of wrong to being essentially a shut-in as a kid, and now being a practically complete NEET. Is it even something that could be change? I feel like I couldn't imagine and end where it isn't suicide.

I don't know... maybe I'm not made to be able to cope in here. It's just that everything's seems bleak except for a percentage of the population. I guess, part of me already give up on that option. Honestly as optimistic as i could be, I'm clinging on doing art to be 'good' enough to actually live off it. Typing about it sounds silly, it feels like I'm seeking a validation to think this way. It feels impossible, it might as well be impossible, i hate these kind of days where my mood plummets and i spend hours doing nothing useful. Just being a waste of space.

sorry this was written like shit
thank you for reading and sorry (again)

 

[ncmxm]

I am/was in a similar situation, I dropped out of uni at the very last step because I just couldn't write the final thesis because of depression, I would break down and start crying when I tried to write it and I just couldn't do it in the end
And what I studied at uni also wasn't the right thing for me
So you're definitely not alone, I know that being in this situation sucks but at least know you're not alone

Making art honestly sounds amazing, I've heard that you can make quite a big amount of money doing commissions (especially if it's fetish art ahah sorry), maybe you could do that?

It doesn't have to end in suicide if you don't want it to, I know sometimes it feels like it's the only logical option for you but if you're not ready yet it doesn't have to be
If you feel like you have to ctb because you're not good enough by society's standards you don't have to
Fuck society, most people suck so fuck them and fuck what they think

And if you want to talk to someone you can always pm me, I'm in a kinda similar situation so I think I could understand you

 

[shy]

Choosing a career is hard, I'm turning 24 soon and I'm still not sure what I want to do. I've tried a few different things, but it never turns out to be what I'd hoped for.

I was halfway through a language degree last year, I wanted to use it to go abroad and start fresh somewhere else. I guess I was just trying to run from my problems, but going abroad wouldn't change much, so I ended up dropping out. Still debating if that was the right move (Learning languages is fun for me). I'm one year into another course now, it's a field I used to like when I was young, but that infatuation I once had is gone. I like the student lifestyle though; I don't have a lot money but get by and have a bunch of spare time. That's probably the only positive about being a perpetual student. I'm lucky that I live somewhere where education is free and I'm able to do this. I can't help but compare myself to others who're already well into their careers, while I'm still trying to figure out what to do with myself and it's frustrating.

Pursuing art is great imo and I hope it works out for you!

 

[tabletop]

...or maybe trying out other options like vocation school etc,...

sorry this was written like shit
thank you for reading and sorry (again)

I don't think your post was written like shit. Though I respect your opinion. Heck, I didn't even finish 2 years of high school so what do I know :P . The "sorrys" aren't needed either. But apology accepted and thank you for honestly expressing your feelings. I'd like to think I can say this for most of us in the recovery section. And that is we are happy to see someone reaching out. Heck, we're happy to read and reply as we can only hope someone trys to be there for us when we do reach out.
See look I started a sentence with "and". A college student in a psych ward told me that's a no no lol :) .

Ok so keeping in mind I've never attended college like yourself so there is a GREAT DEAL of your situation I can not relate to you. I'd like to make a suggestion that while it may not actually be a good fit for you, it could also be an amazing fit for you. Maybe it would involve some compromise but maybe that compromise is why it would work out for you. It fits much of your criteria or at least words you stated. Fair warning though. I'm probably way too bias here as it is my career I'm about to suggest you read into.

Welding. Many consider the weld itself is an art form. If you can see it like that you can take pride in each of your welds and maybe gain some mental satisfaction from that. Some welds really do look great. Especially the stainless steel welds and the rainbow of colors that can be created in the weld. And if you don't so much enjoy or think of the weld itself to be art then there's always metal sculptures you could pursue. For pay or for hobby. Might be hard to find payable artwork for metal. But it can be done. Or work could be easily found in industrial settings like construction or manufacturing. You could when you could afford it invest in your own home welding equipment. You could for hobby make weld sculptures and maybe even try to sell them. I'm not sure how possible getting paid metal artwork full time consistently would be though.

It's something that I think you could pursue and once learning the skill industrial type work could easily be found. A liveable wage. Maybe not driving sports cars. But paying the bills at a reasonable place with a reasonable vehicle should be doable. Depending on the local economic factors of where you live. I'm not asking where you live just saying. Pay can vary wildly depending on locality, industry, and skill level. Probably the most accessible way to learn is community college. I think they charge 2k for a welding class around here. I was fortunate to have a local high school offer adult welding classes much cheaper. That's worth looking into. With no experience and little education a union probably hires apprentices who work their way up while sent to school over a few years.

But hey maybe it's not for you. Hopefully you'll at least enjoy looking up what art is made by others. The picture of frogs is actually made from forks and knives. The large pine cones made from old shovel heads. If you want to image search more metal art some good terms to search are "weld porn" or "metal art" or this last one brings up some fantastic animals on a duckduckgo image search "metal sculpture". These images are def not my work. Just some pulled from the internet.

If you have any questions feel free to let me know. There is so much more I could say. Wide variety of working conditions and pay and blah blah blah depending on the field. I don't know it all no one does. There's also welding forums online that you could ask questions on.

 

[timf]

Most people drawn to artistic expression do so because of what they feel and enjoy. Most people who make a living in art do so because what they make has an appeal in the marketplace. These do not overlap as much as one might think. For this reason many find a job which they can if not enjoy, at least tolerate while applying their artistic passion as a hobby.

There is a joke where one man tells another that he has ten sons. Nine of them are doctors and one is a plumber. The other man asked him if he was ashamed of the one who was a plumber. He responded of course not, who do you think paid the way through medical school for the others.

When consider a career young people often mistaken apply measurement standards that in a few years they might not. For example, potential income, prestige, or ease may influence decisions. It can help to consider other aspects such as;

1. Do you prefer to work alone or with people?
2. Do you prefer work that is repetitive or changing?
3. Do you prefer work that is sedentary or physical?
4. Do you prefer work that requires problem solving or is more straightforward?

These sort of questions might help you get a better feel for the sort of work that would be a good fit.