Venting Feel like I've just been put on this earth as a punching bag for everyone else

[beyondbreath]

I'm so tired of being the one people can disrespect without consequence. Interrupted constantly, concerns dismissed regularly, people playing little games to assert their power. I'm so mousy and unthreatening. For my whole life it's been this way. From the people who raised me abusing me, to the social workers forcing me back into an abusive home, to bullies at school, to my own "best friend" being a total bitch and constantly interrupting me and making fun of me and dismissing my perspectives. It's a problem everywhere from work to friendship. I am trying my best to grow a spine so that for example next time my friend is rude I will call her out and not back down or attempt to placate her when she responds by pouting like a little boy (we are 28 years old) or going mega bitch mode in response. But fucking hell. I'm tired of being made to feel small and insignificant by everyone in everything. I want to matter.

 

[author]

I feel you extremely hard. I've had problems with making myself smaller to avoid shit and still getting shit, and then it's harder to deal with.

Asserting yourself is scary. I'm still learning to do it. Know that if the people around you aren't cool, they might have a bad reaction to you standing up for yourself. This does not make you bad. You aren't doing anything wrong for seeking to be treated like a person. In-between mousiness and aggressiveness, you'll find how to be firm and direct in standing up for yourself. If people react badly to that, it's okay to stop interacting with them. Obviously some stuff you can't always avoid, like work, but at least in friendships you can control who you choose to give time to.

Good luck. Don't give up.

 

[katara]

I feel this as well as having to try harder then everyone and still always being behind so I just can't keep doing it. That's why most days I just sleep in bed for almost all day and have nobody who even bothers to try and help