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SuicidalSymphonies

SuicidalSymphonies

I think I'll take a dirt nap.
Oct 13, 2019
1,028
As the title says, I feel like a total ass for not being completely honest with my closest friends about my suicidal ideologies and the fact that I plan to ctb some day.

I know they would maybe freak out and worry, which I really don't want. I just can't help but feel like I'm lying to them.

The only person I could talk about it to was a friend I knew from in person who ended his life late February of this year.

I am still trying to mend.
 
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Reactions: sadghost, Bct, GoodPersonEffed and 2 others
A

AnxietyAttack44

I just wanna go to my husband already.
Jun 5, 2020
1,092
I remember long ago, back in highschool, sharing my suicidal feelings with my buddies. Instead of simple conversation, or words of comfort, i just got a call from principal, psychologists, doctors, and child protective services.

They didnt even want to say wich one did it. Still a mistery. I just wanted to talk to my friends. Not whole medical armada.

Ironically, all of those friends became suicidal few years later.. They didnt call therapists on each other.
 
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Reactions: Bct, SuicidalSymphonies and NoPlaceForme
NoPlaceForme

NoPlaceForme

We wanted peace
Jun 13, 2020
68
I am sorry about your friend. My best friend knows there is a chance I am going to leave. They said it might get them in trouble if I tell them before I do but they said they can't stop me from leaving. It's hard to tell someone unless you trust them completely to not call someone on you and that you trust them. I can understand how you feel. I hope you can get into a position where it feels like you can tell them. If not, know you aren't lying. It is not an easy thing and people do not always react the right way. Whatever happens I wish you the best.
 
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Reactions: sadghost, Bct, SuicidalSymphonies and 2 others
L

Life sucks

Visionary
Apr 18, 2018
2,134
You aren't being ass. Actually you care about them and that means you are great and kind person. Goodbyes and related issues are hard and complicated but its not your fault and it doesn't mean you are dishonest and liar. Its much more complicated issue about life itself so don't blame yourself. I know its easier said than done but I hope you feel better about yourself.
 
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Reactions: Deleted member 1768, Huntfish34, sadghost and 1 other person
SuicidalSymphonies

SuicidalSymphonies

I think I'll take a dirt nap.
Oct 13, 2019
1,028
You aren't being ass. Actually you care about them and that means you are great and kind person. Goodbyes and related issues are hard and complicated but its not your fault and it doesn't mean you are dishonest and liar. Its much more complicated issue about life itself so don't blame yourself. I know its easier said than done but I hope you feel better about yourself.

Thank you so much for this response! It got me right where it needed to! x
 
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Reactions: Life sucks

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