anhedonicNfoggy
i don’t know
- Aug 7, 2023
- 97
I don't know how much I'm exaggerating or if I have a bias
But I feel like my brain is decaying
My attention span has gotten lower throughout the years. My memory is bad over simple things. I'll forget that I even asked the same question a few minutes ago. When people say bye (my name), I say bye.. and in my head, I keep thinking what was their name even though I've met them many times or I forget I know someone even though I met them many many times a few months ago. I can't remember material from the previous classes I took so me going to school is just useless if I don't have a build-up of knowledge by the end. Also a few months ago, I tried riding a bike when it's been maybe a year since I rode one and I couldn't even balance myself and move the bike properly. I remember in the past too, I used to go to swimming school. A few years after that, I tried to swim and I couldn't anymore. My face would keep getting submerged in the water. This was close to the shore so not anything deep
Yeah I just feel bad about that. I thought maybe I could dissociate myself from the fact that I can't really develop a personality and boredom and not being able to interact with others like an "adult" and I don't expect I'll do well in a job but it just sucks that even if I try, my progress is always gone and I'll never be capable enough at a job etc
So that's one reason I wanna die. Because it's not like everything will just be equally bad later, things will always get worse and worse
But I feel like my brain is decaying
My attention span has gotten lower throughout the years. My memory is bad over simple things. I'll forget that I even asked the same question a few minutes ago. When people say bye (my name), I say bye.. and in my head, I keep thinking what was their name even though I've met them many times or I forget I know someone even though I met them many many times a few months ago. I can't remember material from the previous classes I took so me going to school is just useless if I don't have a build-up of knowledge by the end. Also a few months ago, I tried riding a bike when it's been maybe a year since I rode one and I couldn't even balance myself and move the bike properly. I remember in the past too, I used to go to swimming school. A few years after that, I tried to swim and I couldn't anymore. My face would keep getting submerged in the water. This was close to the shore so not anything deep
Yeah I just feel bad about that. I thought maybe I could dissociate myself from the fact that I can't really develop a personality and boredom and not being able to interact with others like an "adult" and I don't expect I'll do well in a job but it just sucks that even if I try, my progress is always gone and I'll never be capable enough at a job etc
So that's one reason I wanna die. Because it's not like everything will just be equally bad later, things will always get worse and worse
