Feel alone

[Arskam]

I took three 10 mg subway tablets. I swallowed a tablet of analgesic 1 g. I took a light Xanax to calm my anxiety. I prepared a glass of water that I leave about 100 ml. I did not open my sn bottle. It is moving at full speed and I have tracks. I know that I will probably leave a field of ruins behind me. I'm afraid to suffer, to vomit and to fail, I may be just afraid to die even if I live but become so insupportable that I left everything behind me at home. I will not be found for several hours and it was already erased some traces and the state of hospitals is so bad in this country. I would like to be sure of myself but that is not the case. I feel alone like I have never been.

 

[Daniela]

Je comprends l'agonie trop bien. J'éspère que je n'aggrave pas ta souffrance en disant que, si tu ne t'es pas prêt(e), ce n'est pas honteaux du tout de tourner sur tes pas et rentrer chez toi. (Si tu te conduit comme si tu a rien à éxpliquer a personne, ta famille fera peu de questions. Au moins, c'est là mon éxperience). Tu retiens toujours ton SN and tes comprimés antiémetiques. Pourtant, si tu décide d'avaler le SN, j'éspère que tu t'endormis en paix.

 

[Ark]

Try to relax yourself. Think about what you are doing, and what the end result will be. This is something you HAVE to be completely sure of. If you are not ready for this that is completely ok. I am here with you no matter what.

Talk it through more on here if you want. Others are here for you too.

 

[realjunes]

I took three 10 mg subway tablets. I swallowed a tablet of analgesic 1 g. I took a light Xanax to calm my anxiety. I prepared a glass of water that I leave about 100 ml. I did not open my sn bottle. It is moving at full speed and I have tracks. I know that I will probably leave a field of ruins behind me. I'm afraid to suffer, to vomit and to fail, I may be just afraid to die even if I live but become so insupportable that I left everything behind me at home. I will not be found for several hours and it was already erased some traces and the state of hospitals is so bad in this country. I would like to be sure of myself but that is not the case. I feel alone like I have never been.

Arskam - suggestion. I believe you would benefit from having conversations and input from SS members, in order to hear their thoughts and experiences. But your thread title is going to be lost in the many threads started. FEEL ALONE may not be attention-getting enough to get the feedback you need. You have a lot to say in just your first two sentences, and there is an immediacy in your post that deserves attention. I suggest, for your sake, you start a new thread mentioning something about TODAY and what actions you have taken. And of course I don't mean attention-getting in a negative way, but actually, mean it as you need input from others who can feel your pain.
I think you can see by the few responses that your thread is kind of lost among others, and that would be unfortunate since you say you are "moving at full speed." Also, I do not know what "subway tablets" are, but I assume you have studied the SN method enough to know about the need for antiemetics, especially when a major concern to you is vomiting and failing. Please make sure you are researching thoroughly or getting responses from members here who have a lot of accumulated knowledge, hence the idea of reposting with a different post title.

 

[Jean4]

We are the same age and do understand how you feel. Please know. You are not alone. You have us. Talk to us. :)