vizualbandtit
Member
- Mar 5, 2024
- 14
I've been depressed and have had dp/dr (derealization) constantly since I was 11. I've tried therapy for 5 years now, but it just isn't working. I know people in my life love me but they're sick of me being this way. I know they're sick of my problems, sick of my psych ward visits, sick of me going back to square one after progress every few months and sick of me not being able to do even the bare minimum. I don't have the power to go on anymore, I'm tired. I don't know why my brain holds on, as if there's anything left for me. Fear of missing out on the future, maybe. But I'm tired, I'm so tired, I just can't. The fear of death is holding me back, and I don't know if I should just lay on my bed and do nothing until I finally succumb and the weight of living another day surpasses my fear of death. All I've wanted was one good day, just, anything. How do I let go of being curious about what the future holds? Because I certainly cannot go on much longer. I simply just can't.