Venting fear of death and survival instnict

[somewhatdeadly]

As the date I chose gets closer, anxiety is taking over. I'm genuinely scared like the way of anxiety someone feels before getting an injection. I know I should do it, but I have no idea what will happen, or whether if i'll be send to hell for whatever reason. I'm trying not to think about it, but I can't help it. I'm also afraid i might chicken out in the last second or freak out after ingesting SN.

 

[itsgone2]

I'm really sick of it, always chickening out of things. I really wanted to go buy a gun today, there was nothing holding me up from it and I still wasn't able to do it. Now everything's just delayed and I have no idea what will happen. I'm sick of it.. Yes I have anxiety today too. My stomach hurts. I should've taken something and just gotten it over with. I hate this.