Fear has lifted?

[Nina1]

I tried to jump off a bridge and was stopped. Since that day I've been trying to go back, but have been paralyzed with fear. Everytime I would think about that bridge it felt like I was there again on the edge looking down and couldn't imagine ever overcoming survival instinct, but today it was different. I imagined the bridge and felt at peace. I drove to the bridge straight away because I thought it was a sign that it was time. I looked down from the bridge and I wasn't scared. I couldn't believe it. I don't know what has changed, but I am ready. I just have to choose a time with less traffic. This is the best day of my life and I just needed someone to share with

 

[myopybyproxy]

i know that feeling of peace in acceptance and knowledge of the path you will take - the uncertainty and doubts simply vanish.

 

[Crazy4u]

This feeling must be a relief. You know what is best for you and you know when the time is "right". You said you were "stopped" last time. I hope your previous attempt wasn't so traumatizing

 

[Nina1]

Yes thank you! It wasn't so bad being stopped, but that feeling I got looking down it stayed with me. It's a fear I thought would be familiar like skydiving or jumping off a cliff. I thought I could use my imagination to make it easy and just close my eyes. That amount of terror was unexpected.

 

[FuneralCry]

To me, jumping is a terrifying method and I can imagine it must be so comforting to feel at peace with it. I wish you the best in whatever happens. I hope you find what you are looking for.

 

[Nina1]

Thank you!

 

[Cryptonite]

I tried to jump off a bridge and was stopped. Since that day I've been trying to go back, but have been paralyzed with fear. Everytime I would think about that bridge it felt like I was there again on the edge looking down and couldn't imagine ever overcoming survival instinct, but today it was different. I imagined the bridge and felt at peace. I drove to the bridge straight away because I thought it was a sign that it was time. I looked down from the bridge and I wasn't scared. I couldn't believe it. I don't know what has changed, but I am ready. I just have to choose a time with less traffic. This is the best day of my life and I just needed someone to share with

This post made me actually feel so relieved. Made me cry. Gave me a hope that I will do it.

 

[losing hope]

Great to hear you are at peace with CTB'ing should that be what you want. How long did it take from not imagining overcoming survival instinct from the failed attempt. To becoming at peace with the idea of jumping?