Help fast way

[vaulthunter]

i've been hanging (haha) onto partial suspension for a while, but SN has peaked my interest lately. circumstances lately have made it so i need to ctb soon, and my emotions are starting to wear down.

i need to start preparing, but i'm so depressed, i can barely prepare. i can't afford N or anything, but i need something where the SI won't hinder me. maybe alcohol and something else? i don't know. i just need to be gone soon. please help with suggestions and stuff, i'd appreciate it.

 

[Hotsackage]

You and I both

 

[headinghome]

You and I both

that makes three

 

[Umbra]

Alcohol and other drugs will work. I'd recommend a way to prevent yourself from calling help if your SI does kick in. As long as you don't get help and your dosage is right SN should do it,

 

[vaulthunter]

Alcohol and other drugs will work. I'd recommend a way to prevent yourself from calling help if your SI does kick in. As long as you don't get help and your dosage is right SN should do it,

i think the antiemetics regimen needed for SN can't be taken with alcohol and i'm not courageous enough to commit successfully without being intoxicated, sadly

 

[dandan]

I have not been courageous either... I started the anti-emetic regime trying not to think, but when time for N came... I stepped back.. :(

 

[Broken]

I have not been courageous either... I started the anti-emetic regime trying not to think, but when time for N came... I stepped back.. :(

This is the bit I worry about the most. Did you open the bottle of N?

 

[dandan]

This is the bit I worry about the most. Did you open the bottle of N?

No , I felt if I opened then I was doomed, it might decompose if I dont drink it

 

[Jessica-]

I have not been courageous either... I started the anti-emetic regime trying not to think, but when time for N came... I stepped back.. :(

In my last attempt with chloroquine, I just did it with the help of benzos. I followed the regimen on anti-e etc and when it came to taking the chloroquine, 50 tablets (ground and dissolved in water), I just did it. There was no SI, thus I think you will do it when you know it's time. With that said, if my method then was to jump off a tall building or shoot myself in the head, I don't think I could have done it.

 

[JadedGray]

i've been hanging (haha) onto partial suspension for a while, but SN has peaked my interest lately. circumstances lately have made it so i need to ctb soon, and my emotions are starting to wear down.

i need to start preparing, but i'm so depressed, i can barely prepare. i can't afford N or anything, but i need something where the SI won't hinder me. maybe alcohol and something else? i don't know. i just need to be gone soon. please help with suggestions and stuff, i'd appreciate it.

That's the worse feeling, when you want to CTB but you're too tired to get everything prepared and ready to CTB, so you're stuck in this endless loop of getting even more depressed (and tired) because you're too tired (from your depression) to actually get started. Easiest way would be to hurl yourself off a tall building/bridge/cliff, since you don't have to prepare or purchase anything and wait for it to be delivered, but jumping is one of the most terrifying ways and most people who thought of this method aren't able to go through with it once they are standing there ready to jump even with benzos or alcohol. It would probably be much easier to run to a window and jump out, since there's no time for hesitation or to look down until it's too late, compared to standing on a ledge.

If you can't afford N, you could always try purchasing SN. It's much cheaper, although not as reliable as N.

 

[vaulthunter]

Easiest way would be to hurl yourself off a tall building/bridge/cliff, since you don't have to prepare or purchase anything and wait for it to be delivered, but jumping is one of the most terrifying ways and most people who thought of this method aren't able to go through with it once they are standing there ready to jump even with benzos or alcohol.

i've considered jumping, and i'm now considering drowning as well based on some accounts i've read.

i've also almost drowned as a child, and it only hurt for a few seconds before everything went calm. i'm starting to think this method isnt as painful as most think (see this), and i'm thinking about bridge jumping. cliche, yes, but effective if you truly want to die.

thinking maybe since the pain in all the accounts of drowning i've read was determined by whether or not they struggled, i'll drink beforehand, so the involuntary apnea doesn't take its usual 87 long seconds to come, and i can just breathe in underwater because drunk.

 

[GeorgeJL]

Sodium nitrite is a good choice.

 

[vaulthunter]

Sodium nitrite is a good choice.

i was considering it, but the stories on here of people vomitting even when they took A-E, or being saved, or the dark blood—it all scares me a bit.

 

[GeorgeJL]

i was considering it, but the stories on here of people vomitting even when they took A-E, or being saved, or the dark blood—it all scares me a bit.

Vomiting can be prevented with anti-emetics, being saved can be prevented with going to a motel and putting a do not disturb sign on the door. IDK about dark blood.

 

[vaulthunter]

Vomiting can be prevented with anti-emetics, being saved can be prevented with going to a motel and putting a do not disturb sign on the door. IDK about dark blood.

i know, they still took anti-emetics and vomitted regardless. its not a perfect science. and i'm 19 and can't drive so going to a motel or whatever isnt really in my playbook so many factors lead in it sucks i just want to die

 

[GeorgeJL]

Delete

i know, they still took anti-emetics and vomitted regardless. its not a perfect science. and i'm 19 and can't drive so going to a motel or whatever isnt really in my playbook so many factors lead in it sucks i just want to die

Wait a minute, your so young, why are you ending it so early? What's your situation. I'm pro-choice, but I also think you should try to get better. What have you tried so far to get better with?

 

[dandan]

im sorry mate, im sorry you want to die,
I'm pro - choice and sometimes I want to go... im not bipolar, but I certainly act like one....

I have my Nembutal.... no way I would be good at drowning or jumping......

I realize my biggest issues in life are Financial... that sucks...

I dunno if before trying to CTB , maybe I should do a border-line ilegal (not ilegal, only border-line) thing... and see if I can solve money issues....

 

[vaulthunter]

Delete

Wait a minute, your so young, why are you ending it so early? What's your situation. I'm pro-choice, but I also think you should try to get better. What have you tried so far to get better with?

i replied with more info on me in the other thread we were speaking in, but yeah basically: ptsd, bpd, ppd, depression, eating disorders, and multiple more disorders = awful life for me.

i am really young, but i've been thinking about ctb since i was 15 at least. i know i'm going to do it at some point, sometimes it feels like it'll be in 5 years and sometimes it feels like it'll be tomorrow. i've gone thru therapy [CBT amd DBT], EMDR, been inpatient in psych ward and outpatient in partial hospitalization programs.

basically, ive done almost everything i can to try and get better, but they ended up telling me my depression was treatment resistant. i just fear it will get worse.

im sorry mate, im sorry you want to die,
I'm pro - choice and sometimes I want to go... im not bipolar, but I certainly act like one....

I have my Nembutal.... no way I would be good at drowning or jumping......

I realize my biggest issues in life are Financial... that sucks...

I dunno if before trying to CTB , maybe I should do a border-line ilegal (not ilegal, only border-line) thing... and see if I can solve money issues....

im very sorry to hear this. i hope things start looking better financially for you, you deserve happiness.

i'm glad you have your N, congrats! definitely do something crazy before you CTB, live a little! maybe the rush of doing something wild will even give you a reason for life again.

 

[GeorgeJL]

i replied with more info on me in the other thread we were speaking in, but yeah basically: ptsd, bpd, ppd, depression, eating disorders, and multiple more disorders = awful life for me.

i am really young, but i've been thinking about ctb since i was 15 at least. i know i'm going to do it at some point, sometimes it feels like it'll be in 5 years and sometimes it feels like it'll be tomorrow. i've gone thru therapy [CBT amd DBT], EMDR, been inpatient in psych ward and outpatient in partial hospitalization programs.

basically, ive done almost everything i can to try and get better, but they ended up telling me my depression was treatment resistant. i just fear it will get worse.

Try ketamine it's known to help people with depression that have tried many different medications and none of them have worked.

 

[JadedGray]

i've considered jumping, and i'm now considering drowning as well based on some accounts i've read.

i've also almost drowned as a child, and it only hurt for a few seconds before everything went calm. i'm starting to think this method isnt as painful as most think (see this), and i'm thinking about bridge jumping. cliche, yes, but effective if you truly want to die.

thinking maybe since the pain in all the accounts of drowning i've read was determined by whether or not they struggled, i'll drink beforehand, so the involuntary apnea doesn't take its usual 87 long seconds to come, and i can just breathe in underwater because drunk.

Interesting... thanks for posting. I always wondered about drowning after reading about how Virginia Woolf passed this way. I thought it would be close to impossible to accomplish suicide by drowning because of SI unless you were heavily medicated or in a completely psychotic state of mind, but apparently not according to what you posted.