Venting family vs death

[jussaloser]

close relative died recently and i had a great opportunity to see how death affects my family.
it just made it harder for me to ctb.
i care bout others too much i think.

 

[𝗟𝗼𝗻𝗲𝗹𝘆]

Knowing you abandon and hurt your closest ones is probably one of the greatest fears holding us back from leaving this world. The question is whether or not their pain is more important than ours, and we all have to answer it on our own.

 

[annxietty]

Living for others is a curse, you must live for yourself or you will suffer all your life. I know what you feel, but l completely agree with the previous comment, you have to choose. I send you hugs and I wish you find peace in your decisions.

 

[NoHorizon]

It's so hard, isn't it. I really struggle to think about the impact my suicide will have on my relatives. It makes me feel so selfish and terrible for making plans to end my life, but then that kind of reasserts that I'm shit and should die anyway. I wish there was a way to die without causing the people I care about pain.

 

[Turkish_Rose]

Yeah no, as the ones above me have said, this is very relatable to me. Despite all the horrors that my family have subjected one another and myself to, I still shudder at the thought of how my suicide might affect them. I'm personally in the process of finalising my decisions and convictions. My advise would be to act with conviction, whichever path you choose. Embrace life and finding joy in spreading positivity in spite of an infinitely cruel world, or find an alternative way to inner peace. I think the realm of indecision is a very painful thing, but it is still important to think things through.

Either way, know that we are here for you and we care. We are on this journey together.

 

[sinister]

Honestly i understand how you feel completely, i myself have love many relatives in my family inluding my mother and little sister. It's a really hard pain to go through and i am terribly sorry for the loss. Just to touch on "it just made it harder for me to ctb." it's completely your choice, it's your life to take not for others to keep. If you do end up going through i wish you the best on your travels, i hope the other side brings you peace, comfort and the closure you're seeking.

 

[f1lth]

this is the main reason im waiting. i want to do it in January so i dont want to ruin christmas. The guilt has always been worse than my SI honestly.

 

[february in alaska]

Every single post in this thread is so real to me right now. Sending all of you guys love because I know exactly how much it hurts, even just to think about. I'm trying to come to terms with my own life, that it's mine to do with as I please, that I can't base my entire existence on trying not to hurt other people. If there was ever anything to be selfish about, it's deciding what you do with your own life

 

[f1lth]

Every single post in this thread is so real to me right now. Sending all of you guys love because I know exactly how much it hurts, even just to think about. I'm trying to come to terms with my own life, that it's mine to do with as I please, that I can't base my entire existence on trying not to hurt other people. If there was ever anything to be selfish about, it's deciding what you do with your own life

this is beautifully said, thank you

 

[FuneralCry]

I just wish that nobody brought life here in the first place so that there would be no death. Existence truly is just an endless cycle of suffering, to me it's so cruel and unnecessary.

 

[WeDontKnowTheFuture]

This is a real issue for a lot of suicidal people, living for the sake of others is grim and at the same time, not everybody is able to leave if they know that the consequences will be huge. I'd really want to leave at this point but going into this process knowing what it will cause seems impossible to me. I'd like to be an unsensitive and uncompassionate person in order to do what i think is the best for me. Good luck whatever you choose to do.