Venting Family Is Shit

[Beautifulletdown]

I use to believe in family and considered family important but honestly they're just the same as strangers. I've come to realize that it's stupid to have put them first because now I need help most of all I'm by myself. I was really considering giving this fucked up life another chance but It'll never get better and to have no help plus being jobless with no health insurance there's no way better is in the stars. Again, I'm always stupid to believe in this fucking life and the people in it. I fucking give up.

 

[oopswronglife]

I gave up on family long ago. The only one I loved, respected, and could depend on is long dead. The rest are shit. People with good family don't seem to understand it's not like that for everyone else. There are good people in the world...it's just not all of us get much chance to be with or around many or any of them due to circumstances. I like the quote "A person can be good...but people are shit." I just try my best to notice the good "persons" and try my best to avoid the shit "people".

 

[Empty Smile]

I have given up on my family. I still talk to a couple of them, but I'm slowly pulling myself away from them.

 

[pole]

sorry to hear beautiful. its hard to remotely do anything when you feel so depressed without ones help and guidance. do you have anyone to talk to irl? even friends?

it sucks when we really need someone to help, and we'd think it would be our blood, the ones closest to us in family to help us weather the storm that is our problems, but there the ones who just sit by watching the storm brew and get worse.

 

[iiii5555]

Well, my relationship with my family is good enough, but i do think i understand what you mean. In my view, the familial institution itself makes little sense: it abides to the bizarre cultural labels that have in common only the compartmentalization of love, like religion. The creation of artificial groups is rampant in the current modern society, where you can only love those who are in the group your culture tell you you're a part of, and the absence of love for those whore are outside of it.
Love isn't innately labelled anymore: it is your culture which indoctrinates you into believing that there are such metaphysical things as "romantic/familial love" as distinct from love. What makes a relative different from a stranger? Why should you treat someone you're in a romatic relationship withdifferently from someone you're friends with? Because that is pretty much political at this point; the cultural context in which families, marriages, nations, etc. exists is what defines this civilization-driven tribalism.
Our ancestors, the hunters-gatherers, didn't live in such a restricted context, they were free to make their own associations. Being expected to pathologically attach ourselves to people that happens to be more genetically similar to us agaisn't our wills isn't all that natural; we should be able to see the world beyond any arbritrary cultural context. The sedentarism of the notion of "households" also is problematic. Seeing "family" as normal is just another component of human domestication.

 

[k75]

I can't relate, but I do understand where you're coming from. I can't imagine the pain of having family let you down so much, but I do know it's an awful feeling.

I love my family, but I'm trying to put some distance between us because of what I'm planning to do. I know it's futile and it really hurts, but I just kind of want them to already be used to not having me around.

 

[Beautifulletdown]

sorry to hear beautiful. its hard to remotely do anything when you feel so depressed without ones help and guidance. do you have anyone to talk to irl? even friends?

it sucks when we really need someone to help, and we'd think it would be our blood, the ones closest to us in family to help us weather the storm that is our problems, but there the ones who just sit by watching the storm brew and get worse.

I appreciate your reply. I don't really have anyone honestly. It seems the people in my life prefer to stick their head in the sand although I've reached out for help and have communicated I'm not doing well. They just don't take me seriously because "it is just a mental illness". I know for sure now I'm going to ctb. My life is shit and I've been trying for too long. Sorry, I have to come to the realization I'm simply on my own and the calvary isn't coming although I'm stupid to keep believing it.

 

[Tabbyql]

I totally empathise, I always put my self last for mine (literally lost money, friends and jobs) Then when they could find no more use for me (money etc... ) they ditched me. Right in the middle of my mental health problems getting worse. Then later on I find out some of them were saying things about me behind my back. Usually i would beg for forgiveness (even though I haven't done anything) and try everything to get them to want me. But this time i didnt, I'd had enough of the drama, lies, draining me of money and energy etc... And I just havent bothered this time. I really thought family was about UNCONDITIONAL love, acceptance and support. Guess I was wrong. The longer i haven't spoke to them the more I realise how much they used and abused me. And I don't think il ever speak to them again. Guess i put up with it so long because i was desperate for them to want, love and accept me.

 

[Beautifulletdown]

I totally empathise, I always put my self last for mine (literally lost money, friends and jobs) Then when they could find no more use for me (money etc... ) they ditched me. Right in the middle of my mental health problems getting worse. Then later on I find out some of them were saying things about me behind my back. Usually i would beg for forgiveness (even though I haven't done anything) and try everything to get them to want me. But this time i didnt, I'd had enough of the drama, lies, draining me of money and energy etc... And I just havent bothered this time. I really thought family was about UNCONDITIONAL love, acceptance and support. Guess I was wrong. The longer i haven't spoke to them the more I realise how much they used and abused me. And I don't think il ever speak to them again. Guess i put up with it so long because i was desperate for them to want, love and accept me.

I totally get you. I understand about being desperate for them to want, love and accept you. I'm stupid to have wanted the same. I found out too late that's not going to happen now my life is completely ruined.

 

[Tabbyql]

I totally get you. I understand about being desperate for them to want, love and accept you. I'm stupid to have wanted the same. I found out too late that's not going to happen now my life is completely ruined.

Your not stupid for wanting that, I guess some people are just unlucky not to have family like that. My bf does have a loving supportive family so he does not get it at all. Its a shame you can't choose your relatives, you deserve way better.