Help failing on purpose?

[meowme0w]

Okay, this is going to sound super stupid...But, are there like methods that I can do that will fail, but won't damage me permanently??

I swear i'm in my right mind (as much as a suicidal person can be lol), but I basically want to attempt, but not die...Mostly, because I kinda wanna get locked up somewhere for a multitude of reasons, as well as have people take me seriously. I feel like people don't realise how serious my depression is, and an attempt would help with that....Also, I would get help faster, because right now I'm trying to get help but it's not going anywhere and I just don't have faith in myself to get help anymore unless I do it like this

This would be my last resort before I do it for real. Either I try something like this and maybe get help that probably won't work, but maybe it would, who knows! Or I just jump straight to doing it fr fr. I've never attempted anything before, because I've always wanted to make sure that if I'm going to die, i'm going to die. I'm not going to try to die and fail, i'll make sure i won't fail. I highly doubt I'll fail on accident. On purpose however...lol

idk this is kind of an extreme way to cry for help ig, but I really don't have faith in anything else. This is seriously my last resort. Just saying I'm going to kill myself won't be enough, they won't take me seriously. I need to prove that i'm going to die, and an 'attempt' would be good for that. It sucks that I have to go to such lengths to get help, but what can ya do!!

Anyway, I've thought about slitting my wrists, because I know that has a high chance of failing, but I don't want to damage my hand permanently and i've heard that can happen. I know everything has its risks. I mean obviously you can't harm yourself without any risk, but I just wonder what the most likely survivable least damaging thing would be? If I ended up dying on accident, well that would be fine too since i'm planning to die later anyway


Also i'm not sure if this kind of question is allowed on sasu...if not I understand and i'll take this down D:

 

[aufrechtm7]

It isn't worth seriously attempting for attention, at most I would say you consumed some kind of substance and pretended to pass out or fall asleep. You can always check yourself in voluntarily as well without telling whoever these people are that you did so, would disappearing generate concern?

 

[meowme0w]

It isn't worth seriously attempting for attention, at most I would say you consumed some kind of substance and pretended to pass out or fall asleep. You can always check yourself in voluntarily as well without telling whoever these people are that you did so, would disappearing generate concern?

I know it's a stupid idea, i really do, but it just feels like my last resort at this point idk lol

I guess I could check myself in voluntarily, but funnily enough i feel nervous about that. Like, i'd LITERALLY rather almost die than go talk to people to get admitted I just don't know how to go about it...Idk, i just don't feel like anybody will take me seriously. I'll be somewhere for a day and then get released....ugh, maybe i just have to put on some big boy pants and call a suicide hotline or something...can't wait to listen to that waiting music for 3 hours!!

 

[scary]

I don't think there's any "method" that won't cause you bodily harm if you fail. I wouldn't risk it if you're worried about hurting yourself. The only "attempt" I can think of that will realistically not kill you is OD'ing on over the counter pills, it will probably make you have a seizure and pass out but that will mess with your stomach and liver. I do understand what you mean, meow, talking about your problems (especially about depression and suicide) is always a gamble with people. Suicide hotlines are bs from all the stories i've heard and you'll most likely just feel even more shitty. Again, I do get your logic, but you never know what's gonna happen if you attempt.

 

[meowme0w]

I don't think there's any "method" that won't cause you bodily harm if you fail. I wouldn't risk it if you're worried about hurting yourself. The only "attempt" I can think of that will realistically not kill you is OD'ing on over the counter pills, it will probably make you have a seizure and pass out but that will mess with your stomach and liver. I do understand what you mean, meow, talking about your problems (especially about depression and suicide) is always a gamble with people. Suicide hotlines are bs from all the stories i've heard and you'll most likely just feel even more shitty. Again, I do get your logic, but you never know what's gonna happen if you attempt.

yeah, ODing is something I'd never do for any reason, it's just never worth it. That stuff causes permanent damage too easily...And yeah, you never know what's gonna happen, I know there's no guaranteed way to 'harm yourself without harming yourself', but i'm assuming some things are less risky than others

But yeah, suicide hotlines can be bs a lot of the time...they're not ALWAYS bad, but a lot of the time it's just not really worth it tbh

 

[Jello Biafra]

Okay, this is going to sound super stupid...But, are there like methods that I can do that will fail, but won't damage me permanently??

I swear i'm in my right mind (as much as a suicidal person can be lol), but I basically want to attempt, but not die...Mostly, because I kinda wanna get locked up somewhere for a multitude of reasons, as well as have people take me seriously. I feel like people don't realise how serious my depression is, and an attempt would help with that....Also, I would get help faster, because right now I'm trying to get help but it's not going anywhere and I just don't have faith in myself to get help anymore unless I do it like this

This would be my last resort before I do it for real. Either I try something like this and maybe get help that probably won't work, but maybe it would, who knows! Or I just jump straight to doing it fr fr. I've never attempted anything before, because I've always wanted to make sure that if I'm going to die, i'm going to die. I'm not going to try to die and fail, i'll make sure i won't fail. I highly doubt I'll fail on accident. On purpose however...lol

idk this is kind of an extreme way to cry for help ig, but I really don't have faith in anything else. This is seriously my last resort. Just saying I'm going to kill myself won't be enough, they won't take me seriously. I need to prove that i'm going to die, and an 'attempt' would be good for that. It sucks that I have to go to such lengths to get help, but what can ya do!!

Anyway, I've thought about slitting my wrists, because I know that has a high chance of failing, but I don't want to damage my hand permanently and i've heard that can happen. I know everything has its risks. I mean obviously you can't harm yourself without any risk, but I just wonder what the most likely survivable least damaging thing would be? If I ended up dying on accident, well that would be fine too since i'm planning to die later anyway


Also i'm not sure if this kind of question is allowed on sasu...if not I understand and i'll take this down D:

Hi friend - I know this may not be what you want to hear, but since you are asking for advice I would urge you to just check yourself in. Be honest, as you have been with us and tell them everything you just said.

Tell them you are on the verge of attempting because you really are so depressed that living feels like a worse alternative and you are reaching out for help. You are an excellent writer and communicate well and not a lot of people have that ability. Maybe think about writing everything down and giving them that. Writing can be intensely therapeutic and will allow you to say everything you want to say which will give a much more direct and serious impression.

I'm not going to blow smoke up your ass and say everything will turn out great - it really depends on the individuals at the place, but you never know, you might find someone who really connects with you - and that might not even be a therapist/psychiatrist, it might be another patient.

At the very least you can tell yourself that you tried - you gave it a shot. And if it doesn't work you always have the alternative.

Any attempt you make that won't cause potential damage will be seen through as a cry for attention anyways - so please don't risk it and give yourself a real shot at getting some help. You can always come back here and let us know how it went, and you are always welcome to dm me if you want to talk.

I'm sure a lot of people might talk about how shit psychiatrict facilities are, but they really are hit or miss and you'll never know until you at least try. You got this.

 

[woofwag]

Oof I super relate to this. I really, really hate to say this, but this has actually worked for me before. Junior year I had said for months that I couldn't handle my math teacher, that she was ableist, a horrible teacher, and that I was struggling and depressed. And they did not listen. Come finals I ran away during class in an attempt to starve in the woods (an animal alter was fronting, normally not something I would expect to work at all). When they found me, suddenly everyone was very nice and they froze my grade at an A so I didn't have to take the final. Plus she got fired! But that wasn't just from me; there were several people who had already complained about her.

That being said -- I got the same response from when I called suicide hotline and they determined I was unsafe and had to do a wellness check on me, which then lead to me being driven to the hospital by my parents. Spent a day there with them deciding the next best step, if I should go to the ward or not (I didn't), and eventually they let me go home while also getting me a new therapist. Everyone realized how bad it was and how I was genuinely ready to die because I had literally told them I was unsafe and might attempt. No legitimate attempt needed.

No one wants you to have an actual attempt just to get help, even you. It's not worth it and there's no good way of trying just to fail. You could always accidentally succeed. I hope you can reconsider and call suicide hotline or go to the hospital. Can't guarantee you won't go to the ward, but even that would be better than taking your life at a time when you aren't ready for it.

 

[aufrechtm7]

I guess I could check myself in voluntarily, but funnily enough i feel nervous about that. Like, i'd LITERALLY rather almost die than go talk to people to get admitted I just don't know how to go about it...Idk, i just don't feel like anybody will take me seriously. I'll be somewhere for a day and then get released....ugh, maybe i just have to put on some big boy pants and call a suicide hotline or something...can't wait to listen to that waiting music for 3 hours!!

I did it some time ago, it wasn't a great experience but that's because it was a temporary unit and other centers were full. I didn't tell my family about it and they had no idea where I was for a few days which is why I asked. If you're admitted for suicidal ideation, it won't just be a one night and done type of thing, they should monitor you and make a decision based off the initial stay.

I live in a big city, but when I contacted the number (I forgot what it was off the top of my head, I'll double check after this), I had a team of two really nice people come to me. We talked for a bit about my situation before they drove me to the ward and after my stay they even got me a ride back home. The process of texting and calling them and them coming directly to me only took a few hours.

 

[meowme0w]

I did it some time ago, it wasn't a great experience but that's because it was a temporary unit and other centers were full. I didn't tell my family about it and they had no idea where I was for a few days which is why I asked. If you're admitted for suicidal ideation, it won't just be a one night and done type of thing, they should monitor you and make a decision based off the initial stay.

I live in a big city, but when I contacted the number (I forgot what it was off the top of my head, I'll double check after this), I had a team of two really nice people come to me. We talked for a bit about my situation before they drove me to the ward and after my stay they even got me a ride back home. The process of texting and calling them and them coming directly to me only took a few hours.

oh, they would be concerned, but I imagine my family would also find out about it, because I do still live with my parents. I don't mind them finding out, though. It's just awkward to get admitted anywhere when you live with family...like, I guess i'd have to go to a hospital physically. I did it once a few years ago, and my dad ended up giving me a ride to the psych ward lmao, it was really awkward...I'd rather not go through that again, but i'm also an adult now so it could be different, idk

Hi friend - I know this may not be what you want to hear, but since you are asking for advice I would urge you to just check yourself in. Be honest, as you have been with us and tell them everything you just said.

Tell them you are on the verge of attempting because you really are so depressed that living feels like a worse alternative and you are reaching out for help. You are an excellent writer and communicate well and not a lot of people have that ability. Maybe think about writing everything down and giving them that. Writing can be intensely therapeutic and will allow you to say everything you want to say which will give a much more direct and serious impression.

I'm not going to blow smoke up your ass and say everything will turn out great - it really depends on the individuals at the place, but you never know, you might find someone who really connects with you - and that might not even be a therapist/psychiatrist, it might be another patient.

At the very least you can tell yourself that you tried - you gave it a shot. And if it doesn't work you always have the alternative.

Any attempt you make that won't cause potential damage will be seen through as a cry for attention anyways - so please don't risk it and give yourself a real shot at getting some help. You can always come back here and let us know how it went, and you are always welcome to dm me if you want to talk.

I'm sure a lot of people might talk about how shit psychiatrict facilities are, but they really are hit or miss and you'll never know until you at least try. You got this.

this is a really nice comment, thank you! I'm always a bit worried about my writing, because I feel like my thoughts are all over the place and i end up rambling really easily lol, but thank you!!

I'm definitely considering just calling somewhere or going to the hospital now. It'll be really uncomfortable and awkward, but I might do it. I'm in a bit of an awkward living situation though, so I'll have to do it over a weekend, which is annoying lol

 

[aufrechtm7]

oh, they would be concerned, but I imagine my family would also find out about it, because I do still live with my parents. I don't mind them finding out, though. It's just awkward to get admitted anywhere when you live with family...like, I guess i'd have to go to a hospital physically. I did it once a few years ago, and my dad ended up giving me a ride to the psych ward lmao, it was really awkward...I'd rather not go through that again, but i'm also an adult now so it could be different, idk

HIPAA exists to protect patients so if you did check yourself you shouldn't worry about that. There's a good chance they wouldn't find out regardless, but you can still request that information remain private and they would have absolutely no way of finding out and being an adult wouldn't change things.

I texted 988 and they ended up talking to me, before they send a team over I had to respond to a call with some follow up info and that was about it.

My honest recommendation if you want to make people take you seriously is to just check yourself in, either leave a note (doesnt have to say youre checking yourself in, could be left vague intentionally) or don't say anything at all. There's still a TON of luck involved with having a good stay in a psych ward (staff/other patients/etc) but it's better than attempting and risking serious damage.

 

[Jello Biafra]

oh, they would be concerned, but I imagine my family would also find out about it, because I do still live with my parents. I don't mind them finding out, though. It's just awkward to get admitted anywhere when you live with family...like, I guess i'd have to go to a hospital physically. I did it once a few years ago, and my dad ended up giving me a ride to the psych ward lmao, it was really awkward...I'd rather not go through that again, but i'm also an adult now so it could be different, idk

this is a really nice comment, thank you! I'm always a bit worried about my writing, because I feel like my thoughts are all over the place and i end up rambling really easily lol, but thank you!!

I'm definitely considering just calling somewhere or going to the hospital now. It'll be really uncomfortable and awkward, but I might do it. I'm in a bit of an awkward living situation though, so I'll have to do it over a weekend, which is annoying lol

Just do it my friend. You have a whole hell of a lot of people here who support you, and there's no judgment on whatever you feel is best.

All I can say is a lot of us have been in your shoes - you may feel alone but know that you aren't. I know that's kinda cheap coming from a stranger on an anonymous internet forum, but there are a lot of very real, sincere, and empathetic people behind the avs here. I don't care who you are or what you look like or what you've done. I'm certainly no angel myself. I've made mistakes that led to the demise of my best friend in the world - the only person who truly loved me unconditionally - my wife. So there's no judgment here, at all.

Like I said, you write really well and have a good ability to communicate your feelings - you know how long it took me to do that? Express myself? Every one of us has our own strengths and weaknesses - even just by reaching out here you show amazing strength and humbleness. Don't sell yourself short.

Keep us updated on how everything goes. We are all here for you. I know that sounds corny but I don't gaf what other people think. Most people are assholes anyways. I wish I woulda had the mindset to reach out many years ago - if I had, my wife would still be alive. Don't be a coward like I was, too afraid to appear weak or express myself. You can do this.