brokerofsecrets
my best wasn’t good enough
- Feb 3, 2020
- 39
Attempted a hanging at 3PM yesterday, Valentine's day. Valentine's is a pivotal day for me, it's the anniversary of mine and my ex-partner's relationship, and she ruined my life - I thought it would get better when I finally left - but the damage in my head is permanent.
I tightened the rope around my neck, after hanging myself from it by my hands to test its sturdiness - green light, no fraying, no breakages, cool. Pressed my neck into it until everything went black, and woke up on the floor five minutes later, rope still around my neck and a battered face, turns out the human body gets violent as it dies, because the rope was ripped clean in half. I'm very disappointed that I couldn't CTB on valentine's day, as that was the date I had picked out for months and months, and my last choice was taken away from me. So I've changed my mind, on Monday, 2 days time, I'll purchase a thicker rope from screwfix or toolbox or something and tie another hangman, then hang from the same ligature point I've set up.
I tightened the rope around my neck, after hanging myself from it by my hands to test its sturdiness - green light, no fraying, no breakages, cool. Pressed my neck into it until everything went black, and woke up on the floor five minutes later, rope still around my neck and a battered face, turns out the human body gets violent as it dies, because the rope was ripped clean in half. I'm very disappointed that I couldn't CTB on valentine's day, as that was the date I had picked out for months and months, and my last choice was taken away from me. So I've changed my mind, on Monday, 2 days time, I'll purchase a thicker rope from screwfix or toolbox or something and tie another hangman, then hang from the same ligature point I've set up.