
3FailedAttemptss
trans girl (`・ω・´)
- Jan 22, 2025
- 129
OK, so I'm still in the psych ward, and yes, I know I've tried to kill myself by a partial hanging in here before >w< but yesterday was a really, really bad day, and I couldn't even get out of bed. I haven't had anything to eat in over two days, so things were just bad. But as I was lying in my bed, I was thinking, "How could I kill myself in here?" because there are door handles to the restroom- I have leaned my entire body weight off of these door handles, so I know they're strong and can support me. They're sort of like hooks, so I've tried with my panties around the door handle and around my neck, and that got me nowhere.
So yesterday I thought that I would try with a T-shirt since maybe my panties are too elastic, and the T-shirt is thick stiffer sort of fabric or not as elastic. I got really, really close- my first try, my vision and hearing started going, I started feeling tingly and shaking and then nothing. I thought those were my last seconds and then nothing; i'm still alive. I kept trying for like over an hour with no success. I didn't even come as close, so I don't know what I'm doing wrong. I positioned the T-shirt such that it was like above my Adam's apple. Is that too high, or should I put it somewhere else?
They've got me all doped up on a ton of different medications now because my contact person walked in on me trying to hang myself, but I'm still compelled to try.
I don't see the point of waiting any longer, so if I could just figure out what made that first attempt successful and why did all my other many, many attempts like not work?
So yesterday I thought that I would try with a T-shirt since maybe my panties are too elastic, and the T-shirt is thick stiffer sort of fabric or not as elastic. I got really, really close- my first try, my vision and hearing started going, I started feeling tingly and shaking and then nothing. I thought those were my last seconds and then nothing; i'm still alive. I kept trying for like over an hour with no success. I didn't even come as close, so I don't know what I'm doing wrong. I positioned the T-shirt such that it was like above my Adam's apple. Is that too high, or should I put it somewhere else?
They've got me all doped up on a ton of different medications now because my contact person walked in on me trying to hang myself, but I'm still compelled to try.
I don't see the point of waiting any longer, so if I could just figure out what made that first attempt successful and why did all my other many, many attempts like not work?