Otto

Otto

Student
Sep 10, 2018
127
Hi I had a failed pact last year and since then I feel dead,part of me thinks it worked and I'm stuck in hell.i know I'm going to go again.i just don't want to do it alone as that's how ive lived my life and I'd like it to end differently .just feel so trapped right now
 
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bigj75

bigj75

“From Knowledge springs power."
Sep 1, 2018
2,540
Pacts are sketchy. Not something I would trust anyone with. Hope it works out for you though.
 
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Avicii

Avicii

Looking
Sep 4, 2018
424
Hi I had a failed pact last year and since then I feel dead,part of me thinks it worked and I'm stuck in hell.i know I'm going to go again.i just don't want to do it alone as that's how ive lived my life and I'd like it to end differently .just feel so trapped right now
Mind elaborating how pact came about i.e from the web / mutual contact etc and why it didn't work ??

i wonder yet has a pact been made on the megathread parters pacts
 
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Otto

Otto

Student
Sep 10, 2018
127
Mind elaborating how pact came about i.e from the web / mutual contact etc and why it didn't work ??

i wonder yet has a pact been made on the megathread parters pacts
I met them through another forum was planned to go by co2 in a tent.It failed as I moved in my sleep and the bbq burnt my leg then my survival instinct kicked in and I managed to get outside.I wish I could have just gone back to sleep and it would all be over.as soon as I made it out i wished it hadn't woken me.It felt so right when I drifted off to sleep now it feels like I'm stuck in hell
 
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Otto

Otto

Student
Sep 10, 2018
127
I want to go again and will go to beachy head ,I know where to jump from and that I won't walk away from that but I'm scared to die alone
 
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R

ReleaseMe

I know it's over And it never really began
May 26, 2018
120
I met them through another forum was planned to go by co2 in a tent.It failed as I moved in my sleep and the bbq burnt my leg then my survival instinct kicked in and I managed to get outside.I wish I could have just gone back to sleep and it would all be over.as soon as I made it out i wished it hadn't woken me.It felt so right when I drifted off to sleep now it feels like I'm stuck in hell

Was your partner successful? Any way that must have been a horrible experience :(
 
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Otto

Otto

Student
Sep 10, 2018
127
Was your partner successful? Any way that must have been a horrible experience :(
No we both survived sadly it was the survival instincts kicking in.never underestimate how strong that is
Next time I'm going to beachy head I can't handle much more of this misery
 
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Sayo

Sayo

Not 2B
Aug 22, 2018
520
Damn, this is an incredibly sad story and my heart goes out to both of you. I'm very sorry, and I hope you don't end up having to do it alone. The isolation leading up to suicide is brutal never mind having to go through with it by yourself.

I imagine, being a pact, you probably planned it out and had come to terms with it on some level, right? - very hard to adjust back to living after that, especially as you are still suicidal.
 
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Otto

Otto

Student
Sep 10, 2018
127
Yes it felt right I wasn't scared it just felt it was going to bring us peace..feels like I've been stuck in help since had to go to psych ward and only way out was to lie .
 
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