failed attempts

[39hatsune]

why are failed attempts so embarrassing?? or even telling anyone how you feel? like genuinely it is the most humiliating feeling in the world. i remember telling my boyfriend while i was overdosing, and he told my sister who then told like the rest of my family.. god it felt so disgusting, i havent gotten over the feeling since, i dont tell anyone anything anymore. i didnt in the first place but i really wont now. i hate it man i wish i could just fall asleep and not wake up
and the way people treat you afterwards?? like just leave me alone honestly