Venting Failed attempt - First post

[EyeCatcher]

For the past month, I tried to CTB with the night-night method, and yesterday I got it almost right, and I wanted to "finish" it today. So for the past 40-50 minutes, I tried and tried until one try almost succeeded, but before I got unconscious, my breathing got strange and loud, and it felt like I couldn't breathe, so my si kicked in. I tried it a couple more times, but it only hurt after that. Now my eyes feel like they're gonna pop out...

I'm just so done. I really don't want to live anymore. Why am I forced to live? I don't want to experience this, and my only options are ass but I'm still gonna try again later or tomorrow if it still hurts.

I lurked for a couple of months and never expected to write something, but I haven't talked to my friends or family about how I feel, and I just wanted to get it out, even though I don't like attention.

 

[FuneralCry]

That must be really dreadful what you are going through, I find it beyond cruel how we cannot just have the option to easily die in peace, to me it's so hellish how people have to struggle so much to die, I understand feeling so trapped here. But anyway best wishes, I hope that you eventually find the freedom you search for.