L

LittleJem

Visionary
Jul 3, 2019
2,554
I'm going to swear without asterixes in a minute... swear alert.

New medication, I can't sleep. I've been writing my will, which has been incredibly satisfying. I am putting lots of stuff in there about the right to die and that I want to be able to choose to end my suffering. I also get to write to everyone I love, and also to plan my own funeral. I am really enjoying it (if I was happier, I would be working as an event planner).

It's going to involve throwing my ashes off a little rowing boat on the river Thames. I'm still deciding on the refreshments - my first choice is Indian food, but I don't want people to have a bad association, so maybe it is best just to have sandwiches?

Anyway I stayed up really late because I was scared of not sleeping, then I closed my eyes and I can't sleep and it's definitely the medication, and I've had weed and I still can't sleep and every time I close my eyes, I am in tears because I lost my marriage due to mental illness (mine) and I can barely feel anything.

This medication is actually helping - and can cause months of insomnia.

Just needed to vent - and have realised I didn't spell the F word yet. So FUCK insomnia to hell.
 
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stellabelle

stellabelle

ethereal
Dec 14, 2018
3,919
I bought a book at five below several weeks ago that's titled "The nocturnal journal" and it has a lot of insightful questions and pages. I struggle with insomnia at times and while I haven't started on it yet, I'd like to sometime in the future and I wish I had it/had found it years prior. If you have the time and funds, you should look into it. Might make a decent investment if you think this will become a long term issue (insomnia.)

I never even thought about food or flowers or any of that for a funeral. Just toss me in the community crypt was my original stance/idea. Now I sort of want to be buried on a mountain somewhere near home.

I don't think anybody would come or anything but I guess if you were gonna eat at something "honoring" my life, (first only and last time anyone will ever give a shit about me), id say something yummy like barbecue. Why the hell not? Just throw a barbecue instead of a funeral. Smoke weed. Call it good.
 
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Dartz

Dartz

Give Me The Dirt
Jun 29, 2018
613
Insomnia will literally drive you insane. I go 3 days at a time with no more than 2 hours sleep some weeks and fuck me it will ruin you. Forget the hardest of hard drugs, insomnia will ruin your life faster than heroin. I'm on sleep meds right now that are supposed to help it and have only made it worse; fuck insomnia all the way to hell and below.
 
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C

c824767

Specialist
Sep 2, 2019
358
I'm going to swear without asterixes in a minute... swear alert.

New medication, I can't sleep. I've been writing my will, which has been incredibly satisfying. I am putting lots of stuff in there about the right to die and that I want to be able to choose to end my suffering. I also get to write to everyone I love, and also to plan my own funeral. I am really enjoying it (if I was happier, I would be working as an event planner).

It's going to involve throwing my ashes off a little rowing boat on the river Thames. I'm still deciding on the refreshments - my first choice is Indian food, but I don't want people to have a bad association, so maybe it is best just to have sandwiches?

Anyway I stayed up really late because I was scared of not sleeping, then I closed my eyes and I can't sleep and it's definitely the medication, and I've had weed and I still can't sleep and every time I close my eyes, I am in tears because I lost my marriage due to mental illness (mine) and I can barely feel anything.

This medication is actually helping - and can cause months of insomnia.

Just needed to vent - and have realised I didn't spell the F word yet. So FUCK insomnia to hell.
I was told bipolar people have insomnia, a typical symptom. As soon as they diagnosed me they gave me my zopiclone back. I do not like the diagnosis but sure happy to have the drug and problem-free sleep.
 
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Pistolero114

Pistolero114

Veteran
Jun 25, 2019
261
With my family I'd make them eat crow.
 
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justanotherday

Specialist
Jul 22, 2019
397
I was told bipolar people have insomnia, a typical symptom. As soon as they diagnosed me they gave me my zopiclone back. I do not like the diagnosis but sure happy to have the drug and problem-free sleep.
I just looked zoplicone up , as I have insomnia as well and have tried everything for it. It looks like you cannot get it in the US. It also said it can be fatal if mixed with alcohol or other drugs... hmmm I wish it was available here in the states.
zopiclone
 
C

c824767

Specialist
Sep 2, 2019
358
I know I had huge problems when I tried to live in the US to get appropriate sleeping meds.
 
Dartz

Dartz

Give Me The Dirt
Jun 29, 2018
613
I just looked zoplicone up , as I have insomnia as well and have tried everything for it. It looks like you cannot get it in the US. It also said it can be fatal if mixed with alcohol or other drugs... hmmm I wish it was available here in the states.
zopiclone

Zopiclone hasn't helped me at all. Strangely enough xanax has been the most effective thing for me, but everyone's body reacts differently to different substances
 
clownangel

clownangel

Student
Sep 25, 2019
122
Insomnia can for real fuck right off. Even after years of sleeping 2-4hrs a night (a nightmare, @Dartz is accurate in saying it makes you bonkers - shit ATE my brain) I still struggle though I'm on the first sleep medication that's ever consistently worked. I hope your meds help more than harm and this specific side effect doesn't last months.

My family always does a house party post-funeral, almost always the same food (easy, big batches, most of us usually haven't eaten all week when it happens so pasta salad and meatballs seems like the most amazing thing on earth) I've thought about my own a lot but I'm not sure what I'd pick. (Cuz yeah, definitely don't want to associate whatever food with death for the rest of forever, that makes sense!)
 
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