Extremely intense suffering that has not abated for a decade

[Chronicillness]

I'm getting physically healthier after a bout of extremely severe and treatment resistant chronic Illnesses, but now that that storm has passed, I am now brutally faced with the reality that my life has already passed by me and my body dysphoria/BDD is now the greatest struggle that I have ever dealt with

Even though I'm not transgender, I have never felt such profound respect for the amount of suffering that they go through each day.

Dysphoria resulting from your displeasure with your own appearance is one of the most horrifying and torturous things that I have ever felt in my life, and I would never say such a thing lightly.

The dysphoria fills my stomach and makes it feel like it's full of wet cement; I cannot eat.

I want to beg, grovel and plead with someone or something to help elevate me out of this intense situation, but there's nothing and no one that would have the tools needed to help me

I am CTB ready

 

[girlsboysthems]

Same here. As a nonbinary person I struggle with my looks, body and presentation a lot and I'm wondering (just questioning everything really) if I should just give up and start presenting with the gender I was assigned with at birth. It got really bad again after a man started verbally attacking me for "looking like a lesbian" and I admit it I basically live in my phone where these things are acceptable and I forget the world does not appreciate my existence. And same as you I am CTB ready and I literally see no other way since I live in such a backwards country.

 

[GasMonkey]

What's your method?

 

[Chronicillness]

What's your method?

I want to go via N, but I have the m30 fentanyl pills as a last resort.

Idk what the deal with the current N supplier is, or if there even is a current supplier. My brain's capacity to procure any method at all right has been greatly reduced. Dysphoria is hastily melting my brain's ability to engage in normal motor and cognitive functions

 

[Winterreise]

Imagine having body dysphoria and being the butt of all jokes. While being under political attack. While being abused in the comment sections. People defending you are being called out, exposed and ridiculouled. Your community is being trolled. Imagine that, and you have America
. Imagine your rights being slowly tortured to death. Terf screaming at you, despite putting on your best behavior. Imagine reading things about you, you don't recognize . Thats what I call sad

 

[FuneralCry]

That sounds really horrific what you have to experience, it must be so tiring having to constantly suffer for that long, the reality is that existing really can be torture. But yes, those who are able to access N certainly are so fortunate, it does sound like the most ideal method to me, it's so tragic how it doesn't seem to be available at all, at least from what I read. But anyway, I hope that you find freedom from this hellish world.

 

[Chronicillness]

Anyone in AZ planning to CTB?