Y

Young.Werther

Student
Apr 11, 2023
152
I'm thinking about medication and have some worries. I'm not sure how realistic they are, but I'm hoping to get some honest responses (as opposed to the obligatory pro-life spiel about medication from therapists). Mainly, I'm really worried that I'll get trapped inside my body behind a shiny exterior of a normally functioning person -- something along the lines of what I imagine a lobotomy would be like or after a failed attempt, where you're still conscious inside but can't communicate and don't have any agency. This sounds absolutely terrifying (one of the reasons I can't bring myself to CTB yet is because I don't want to end up paralyzed or something). I'd especially appreciate if anyone could confirm or deny this who has been on medication and has since stopped (any and all) antidepressants, but would really appreciate any experiences people are willing to share.

I'm also supposed to talk to a psychiatrist within the next two weeks, are there questions I should be asking the psychiatrist?

Thanks so much!
 
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enviro400mmc

enviro400mmc

#1 cake123 fanboy
Nov 27, 2022
101
I've been put on sertraline for a few months. The bad news is that it has done sweet fuck all. The good news is that it has done sweet fuck all. It's unlikely they will ruin you or give you a pseudo-lobotomy or any real adverse effects, particularly if you are monitored carefully by your psychiatrist.

If you have the means to try them then do, go in with an open mind and see what happens.
 
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Y

Young.Werther

Student
Apr 11, 2023
152
I've been put on sertraline for a few months. The bad news is that it has done sweet fuck all. The good news is that it has done sweet fuck all. It's unlikely they will ruin you or give you a pseudo-lobotomy or any real adverse effects, particularly if you are monitored carefully by your psychiatrist.

If you have the means to try them then do, go in with an open mind and see what happens.
Haha not great I suppose but better than I thought. Anything you'd suggest I ask the psychiatrist when I see them?
 
hwaiting

hwaiting

파이팅
Apr 2, 2023
35
I'm thinking about medication and have some worries. I'm not sure how realistic they are, but I'm hoping to get some honest responses (as opposed to the obligatory pro-life spiel about medication from therapists). Mainly, I'm really worried that I'll get trapped inside my body behind a shiny exterior of a normally functioning person -- something along the lines of what I imagine a lobotomy would be like or after a failed attempt, where you're still conscious inside but can't communicate and don't have any agency. This sounds absolutely terrifying (one of the reasons I can't bring myself to CTB yet is because I don't want to end up paralyzed or something). I'd especially appreciate if anyone could confirm or deny this who has been on medication and has since stopped (any and all) antidepressants, but would really appreciate any experiences people are willing to share.

I'm also supposed to talk to a psychiatrist within the next two weeks, are there questions I should be asking the psychiatrist?

Thanks so much!
I think chemical lobotomy only comes into play under super high dosages or more specialized drugs. Sertraline is a much more generalized aid for depression and some anxiety, but it didn't really do anything for me.

Wellbutrin's (bupropion) helped though, it focuses more on raising dopamine levels and has raised my mood on average. Since it does increase dopamine, though, it could make anxiety worse if that's something you're struggling with.

In general, doctors will start you on the lowest dosages, and depending on how much it's helped, will raise, decrease, or keep the dosage the same.

On stopping medication, though, they should always be phased off by gradually reducing dosage over time. Back when I was taking sertraline, even though it didn't seem to have any apparent effects, I stopped taking it for a couple of weeks and started relapsing hard.

Chemical lobotomy is scary and isn't talked about much; I've only ever heard of it from the musical Next To Normal (phenomenal btw), but you don't need to be too concerned.

As a last note: my doctor's always said that medication and therapy, when taken together, will be far more helpful than either if them taken alone. It's not always feasible to take both, for financial reasons or otherwise, but it's something to keep in mind. Good luck
 
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Kundalini Guy

Kundalini Guy

FULLY RECOVERED
Mar 27, 2023
516
I have been on meds since 2017 and over many experiences of stopping them and relapsing, the best thing I learned is to just take them. Life off meds vs on meds is like 2 completely different worlds, off meds being too hellish to live for me. It definitely makes a difference and could save your life. It is not like lobotomy at all, you can still think properly, just the pain has been taken away and you will cry less.
 
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NumbItAll

NumbItAll

expendable
May 20, 2018
1,101
I've had a catastrophic experience with antidepressants but I still had plenty of agency to stop taking them and eventually recover. If you are feeling really bad then I doubt there would be a shiny exterior. There are reasons to be cautious with psychotropic drugs but that's not a scenario I would particularly worry about. Side effects and withdrawal effects are the main potential problems that always seem to get glossed over by psychiatrists.
 
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hwaiting

hwaiting

파이팅
Apr 2, 2023
35
I've had a catastrophic experience with antidepressants but I still had plenty of agency to stop taking them and eventually recover. If you are feeling really bad then I doubt there would be a shiny exterior. There are reasons to be cautious with psychotropic drugs but that's not a scenario I would particularly worry about. Side effects and withdrawal effects are the main potential problems that always seem to get glossed over by psychiatrists.
Oh yeah one thing I want to add is that my doctors always tell me that if there are any side effects or sudden mood swings that I don't like, to stop taking the medication immediately. There tends to be a pretty good understanding of the averse effects that medications can have. It should be noted, though, that most medications take at least two-three weeks before they start to make a difference.
 
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senzim

senzim

Member
Apr 15, 2023
13
I'm thinking about medication and have some worries. I'm not sure how realistic they are, but I'm hoping to get some honest responses (as opposed to the obligatory pro-life spiel about medication from therapists). Mainly, I'm really worried that I'll get trapped inside my body behind a shiny exterior of a normally functioning person -- something along the lines of what I imagine a lobotomy would be like or after a failed attempt, where you're still conscious inside but can't communicate and don't have any agency. This sounds absolutely terrifying (one of the reasons I can't bring myself to CTB yet is because I don't want to end up paralyzed or something). I'd especially appreciate if anyone could confirm or deny this who has been on medication and has since stopped (any and all) antidepressants, but would really appreciate any experiences people are willing to share.

I'm also supposed to talk to a psychiatrist within the next two weeks, are there questions I should be asking the psychiatrist?

Thanks so much!
I've been on Fluoxetine for just under a month. I have frequent headaches (but they're a common side effect and stop after a while of taking it). It hasn't changed much because I still have suicidal thoughts and I've noticed I want to harm myself more, but I have only just begun taking them and I've heard it gets worse before it gets better. One thing I would recommend would be to take medication before bed (unless advised a specific time of day to take them) as when I have taken mine in the morning I feel nauseous and drowsy. Hope this helped!
 
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prospero

prospero

Member
Apr 14, 2023
12
I've been on Escitalopram for a year and then switched to Setraline (both SSRI). My experience is that it takes some time to get used to it. First I experienced some side effects like sleepiness and increased appetite. It took me around a month to get used to it. We started with a low dose and gradually increased it until the effect got maximised while there were still no / minimal side effects. After I got used to them after a couple of weeks, I couldn't really notice any impairment. It's definitely not lobotomy by drugs. One side affect that keeps effecting me is decreased libido and anorgasmia.
However these SSRIs do make a huge positive difference. It sort of elevates my baseline mood and emotional resilience. I can still get rather depressed or anxious, but my baseline emotional state got closer to neutral and my mood swings are less severe. Before I started taking these, there were weeks and weeks when I was locked into my head and all I did all day is that I tried to weather the strain of suicidal thoughts buzzing in my head constantly.
Should you decide to go ahead with medication make sure to take them according to the instructions of your psychiatrist. I do notice if I accidentally skip one day. When I was switching from Escitalopram to Setraline I had to first taper down and stop taking E., which made me stressed and depressed as hell. There was an occasion when I didn't realise on time that I'm running out of Setraline and I had to decrease the dose for a few days until I managed to get the next prescription. It was pretty bad.
Also: you have to say goodbye to alcohol and most recreational drugs (google serotonin syndrome / serotonin toxicity). Some small amount of weed should be ok, but I managed to get some worrying seizures on higher doses. Another big contraindication is SSRIs + NSAIDs.
All in all: speak with your psychiatrist, ask all your questions and make sure to disclose anything that could effect starting on an SSRI like other medication, health conditions, (illegal) drug use etc.
 
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L

LittleJem

Visionary
Jul 3, 2019
2,598
The main thing it is worth knowing is how many weeks to try the medication for - e.g. some take up to 12 weeks to work and that is quite normal. So to properly try the medication you need to take it for the right amount of time and at the right doseage - e.g. I was on fluoxetine 20 mg for 12 weeks and then it was raised to 40mg, though some psychiatrists might raise the dose earlier. Psychiatrists will try and diagnose you (it's an art more than a science) and the prescribe you a medication. They don't usually discuss it that much. Maybe they are right. It is really that you have to take the medication and see what happens to you. I have hated psychiatrists for not giving much information, but really I'm not sure if it helps. It's more that you need to test medications and hopefully find one that works for you.

Side effects are generally in the leaflet and most psychiatrists don't even mention them. Some side effects pass - e.g. on fluoxetine I had insomnia for a few weeks and then it passed, and some medication does make you worse before you get better. As usual, I recommend Facebook/Meta support groups for medications. It is also worth reading success stories on Drugs.com.

I have been scared of anti-psychotics which can create a 'zombie' effect, but that hopefully wears off if you come off the medication. I have got to the point after many years where I have realised that even those medications are worth the risk for me, as I am so miserable every day (hence my long term presence on this website). So it is worth trying medication to get better. It is trial and error. Hopefully the first medication will help you, but if not, then it can have the dose raised or you can be swapped to another one.

Basically, the sooner you start one the better then you can get to the 12 weeks and see if it helps.
 
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sheepgirl

sheepgirl

Student
Aug 11, 2018
119
Hello! I can't be bothered reading the replies to your post but as someone who has greatly benefited from medications I would like to share my experience and hope it can help. I was first medicated at the age of 15 (23 now). I have been on numerous medications and unfortunately it took many years to find the right combination for me. None of the medications I took were bad experiences for me they just didn't help as much as we had liked. I take a combination of lithium carbonate (mood stabiliser), paroxetine (antidepressant/anxiety) and I take quetiapine for sleep at night. I am currently struggling pretty badly with some depression and suicidal thoughts however in general I could not function without my meds. I have also done a lot of therapy, I've done CBT,DBT and general talking therapy. A combination of both has helped me be able to have some quality of life :)
 
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ClockWorks

ClockWorks

Wish I Could Just Enjoy the Silence
Apr 15, 2023
23
I've been on medications in the past and still am, overall, medications do help but you'll have to set your expectations straight. At first, the meds your perscribed may or may not have negative side effects and sometimes may not even seem to work at all. Generally, I find that my character and feelings haven't changed in most cases so theres no need to worry. Its a trial and error process between you and your psychiatrist until you find one that works for you.

Just remember to lay out your deck openly to your psychiatrist and be honest about how the meds have been affecting you.

In terms of questions to ask your psychiatrist, here are a few I can think of rn:

Is there any way to get a discount on the medication? [No matter what your financial situation is, always take advantage of any price reductions.]

What should I do if I miss a dosage?

How can I contact you in an emergency?
What symptoms (From your diagnosis) does this medicine treat? [Keep their answer in mind as a criteria to evaluate if the meds are working for you or not]

What are common side effects to look out for and how can I manage them?

Hope your session goes well and best of luck in your recovery, Friend! :3
 
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momdontcryplease

momdontcryplease

Member
Apr 15, 2023
62
Well I'm on two antidepressants at the same time and they don't help me at all. In fact it feels like a waste of money. It may be different for you if your depression is based more on the brain chemical side but for me my depression is based on my current state of living.
 
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Y

Young.Werther

Student
Apr 11, 2023
152
I've had a catastrophic experience with antidepressants but I still had plenty of agency to stop taking them and eventually recover. If you are feeling really bad then I doubt there would be a shiny exterior. There are reasons to be cautious with psychotropic drugs but that's not a scenario I would particularly worry about. Side effects and withdrawal effects are the main potential problems that always seem to get glossed over by psychiatrists.
That's really comforting to know. If you're comfortable sharing, how was withdrawal? Any particularly bad side effects (either while taking or during withdrawal)?
 
NumbItAll

NumbItAll

expendable
May 20, 2018
1,101
That's really comforting to know. If you're comfortable sharing, how was withdrawal? Any particularly bad side effects (either while taking or during withdrawal)?
The first time I tried years ago it wasn't too bad, the worst side effects were just feeling kinda numb and weird and I think it lowered my libido. The withdrawal was mostly really annoying brain zaps, but it wasn't terrible and I was back to normal within a couple months of stopping. I tried again last year and was given fluoxetine which I stopped taking after a few days because it sent me into a panic. The catch is that fluoxetine has a very long half life so I believe it stayed in my system long enough that I became dependent and suffered a horrible withdrawal starting a couple weeks later, which was literally months of torture with too many symptoms to list. I still haven't quite gotten back to normal but it's close enough that I'm not worried about it. Sorry that's probably not too comforting haha but for what it's worth that is a rare scenario.
 
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F

Fubart

Member
Apr 14, 2023
7
When I started taking antidepressants (effexor xr), I entered a manic phase, started experimenting with drugs, mostly marijuana, had a profound religious experience, dropped out of university, and completely lost my will to live. I have never recovered, and it has been over 20 years of suicidal ideation. When I started taking them I was mildly depressed, but still hopeful for a good life and had friends and hobbies. After that religious experience, I completely gave up on all my hobbies and interests, scared off my friends, and only wanted to seek enlightenment thru meditation and more drugs. They diagnosed me as bipolar, and added antipsychotics to the mix. I have been in and out of hospital many times. Recently I decided to stop taking all medication. It has been about 1 year, and I feel worse than ever, but I refuse to go back on meds in hopes that I will stop having manic episodes and focus on a healthy lifestyle.
 
Y

Young.Werther

Student
Apr 11, 2023
152
When I started taking antidepressants (effexor xr), I entered a manic phase, started experimenting with drugs, mostly marijuana, had a profound religious experience, dropped out of university, and completely lost my will to live. I have never recovered, and it has been over 20 years of suicidal ideation. When I started taking them I was mildly depressed, but still hopeful for a good life and had friends and hobbies. After that religious experience, I completely gave up on all my hobbies and interests, scared off my friends, and only wanted to seek enlightenment thru meditation and more drugs. They diagnosed me as bipolar, and added antipsychotics to the mix. I have been in and out of hospital many times. Recently I decided to stop taking all medication. It has been about 1 year, and I feel worse than ever, but I refuse to go back on meds in hopes that I will stop having manic episodes and focus on a healthy lifestyle.
Yikes. A reminder that there is no such thing as rock bottom :/
 
Rairii

Rairii

Is it necessary?
Nov 27, 2022
133
I've been on just about every antidepressant, none of them really work. I will say Welbutrin is as close as it gets. It gives me some energy and a bit of a mood boost, not a cure all or anything but better than nothing. A lot of the antidepressants can make you feel numb and like a zombie but it's not permanent if you stop them. I've cold turkey all of them, even the ones I was on for years. Which I wouldn't recommend because it's rather uncomfortable but it didn't kill me or harm me in any way. I didn't have any lasting side effects from them.

The only psych pill that had caused real damage to me are benzodiazepines. They are good for very short term use, like less than two weeks and as needed. Taking them any longer than that and regularly will just set you up for failure and eventually your anxiety is going to come back way worse than it did before you started taking it.

Antipsychotics honestly made me feel manic (or what I assume it would feel like) but probably because I don't have the diagnoses that are meant for them. They use them sometimes with antidepressants though, I guess to help them work faster or whatever? They also made me gain a lot of weight. So I absolutely refuse to use them. They didn't even help anyway. They also give these to help with sleep.

SSNRI and SSRI class of antidepressants are more likely to cause you to feel numb and zombie like and they are usually the go to one's they prescribe. There are tricyclic antidepressants, I haven't had that problem with those. The most tricyclic antidepressants do for me is make me a bit drowsy. I really would avoid starting a bunch of different meds at once, just so you can know what med is causing which side effect and adjust or remove accordingly. Oh I will say with welbutrin, if you have anxiety it may increase it. It's the biggest downside for me but I just accept it at this point because I really couldn't even get out of bed before taking this.

Questions I typically ask are: how long will it take for this to work? Why are you choosing this one? Are there any side effects I should look out for and what should I do if I have them?
 
Last edited:
kermudgeon

kermudgeon

Exit Through the Gift Shop
Feb 8, 2024
82
I've been on and off meds for about 20 years now and I much prefer life on them as opposed to off (and would be on them now except my insurance company won't allow the scrip to be filled without a prior authorization and it's taking f*cking forever...).

One thing to look into is getting a Gene Sight test- it's just a cheek swab, but it tells which meds may or may not work for you.

For me, after the last prior authorization f*uckery I gave up on a med that was working to go on wellbutrin because it was cheaper, but found myself anxious and angry all the time. Finally I got so pissed off that I called the doc to say it wasn't working and when they looked up my gene sight info, wellbutrin was in the red column, as in: this shit will not work for this person.

I was soooo relieved, because I was thinking I was just being a big baby about it.

Anyways, if you can do the gene sight thing, give it a shot.
 
H

Hollowman

Empty
Dec 14, 2021
1,322
Gene sight isn't reliable, do some research about it.
 

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