experiences with dissociation/derealization?

[roping]

saw a thread earlier talking about how life is a dream you can't wake up from, this paired with a conversation i had with a friend regarding their personal account of a dissociative experience, made me want to ask here.

describe your experiences, how often you get them and what your thoughts on them are (good/bad, anything else you'd like to add)

afaik, its normal to experience it every now and then, however past a certain point it becomes an issue and affects QOL (quality of life) and i believe there are psychiatric diagnoses for these cases, not too sure about treatment, haven't double checked.

personally i experience both quite a fair bit, i'm very attracted to themes of surreality and love dreaming very very much, theres a sense of liberty that comes with it, also makes me lose a lot of motivation, probably due to the lack of confidence that this world /i'm (is) even real. i already don't have much motivation for self-care, probably a big reason of why i'm on here, or to just do anything, especially anything that has benefit exclusively in the long term, working for qualification for a certain job, etc... so that's bad ig, postpones and worsens temporary pleasure, happiness and sense of meaning, which is just going to ruin my QOL until i CTB, if i ever go through with it.

 

[Hateyouprolife]

I think I had it friday. Time was so slow. I felt same, but different. I thought it was obvious but everyone kept telling me, that i was okay if I only didnt repeat my paranoid thoughts.

Later i had problems remembering persons faces. Then got really paranoid about everyone knew about my plan to ctb. I remember hearing everyone talking about my condition.

During swimming I felt really dream like. So I decided to give it a try. I underwater and exhaled. Tried to inhale, to mouth. It felt okay, not too bad. The panic is main reason drowning wont work. But if you are this calm, then no problem. I only swam up, because i knew I may be rescued and I need to reliably ctb.

At night, I considered my self unable to chance decision. Since my date was set long time ago, then decided to proceed. So much effort, spent hour tying a knots. And then I finally put bag over head. My mind was so slow, that It took minutes to use hangman knot. Then I drank final energy drink, began hearing hallucinations. I turned on music in headphones to mask it.

After this I remember my head being completely empty. There was some distant panic and fast breathing, but I knew I wasnt going to remove bag. Maybe my consciousness went on and off, on and off, but I wake in 5 am. I was still half asleep, but intuitively started removing any marks of the night.

Only now did I noticed many of my muscles are like afer training. Convulsions saved me . So glad I didnt manage to fix my hands as I planned to. Then I woudnt have woken up.

 

[Death is beautiful]

Recently I also did a topic about derealization and kurt cobain was also on my avatar lol

 

[obliviousatbest]

It's rare to feel attached to my body and the things surrounding me. Making the daylight hours seem as real as my dreams is impossible. Everything dissolves into the grey blur of time and nothing is consistently real enough to truly care about.