Sometimes I feel like there isn't a positive in anything.
I kind of know how you feel.. Some people don't understand me when I say that we are still in a type of dark age.. We have some nice technology and stuff, but we have created a cancerous society that isn't really that caring..
Yeah when you look at the bigger picture, it all seems kind of pointless in a way....Working just so you can give your money to rent-collectors and bill-collectors..
And one thing that has always annoyed me is that, even when you have extra money and spare time, it never seems like there is any thing to do.. The only options are like....go to retail stores and buy junk you don't need, or go to restaurant to eat food.. I have a hard time thinking of any place in my city that really interests me at all.. It just all seems like a bunch of boring stores..
And yeah I hate having normal jobs.. I've always wanted to start my own small business because I am really bad at working underneath other people; I kind of have to be my own boss..
But also I think our society is at the point where it doesn't have to require most of the people to work all that much because of the automation technology potential we have.....but i think that our cancerous society maintains a state that artificially forces people to have to have crappy jobs to survive.. I think it is caused by any time that technological innovation (automation) happens in big companies, they never use that efficieny to try to lighten the work burden on society, but instead they use it to increase their own profits and keep prices artificially high when they don't have to..
One thing that I've realized is that having friends helps tremendously with overall happiness.. And if you aren't afraid of meeting new random people there are sites like meetup.com where you can find different groups of people that share different interests and stuff that you can meet in real life..
For me, I don't have any real-life friends, and my condition (tinnitus and hyperacusis) prevents me from doing a lot of stuff out in the real world too much.. So I usually use a real-time chat program to talk to a group of friends I have, and that helps me..
And also games help me too.. I have a lot of switch games that I play..
You've registered on this site quite a while back.. I'm kind of curious as to whether or not you have any sort of chronic pain or other illnesses?.. Or if it is just that all of life's general problems together in this cancerous society has caused you to become mildly (but chronically) depressed.. I hope you can find some solace either way.. I'm sorry that you have to live in this type of world, in this time-line; It definitely isn't the optimal world that it could be..
I can't be the arbiter of deciding what happens with your life.. But if you spend many years feeling as if you are merely wandering aimlessly through the long hallway of life with out any hint of reprieve, I could not blame you, nor any one else, if you were to choose to take your future in to your own hands in a more deliberate way..
If you ever need/want to talk or PM me about any thing, I'm always here (until I'm not)..
Love and light
