Rue89
Visionary
- Feb 10, 2020
- 2,726
I hate how everytime I think things can't get worse they do. My anxiety is mostly as bad as ever, but some aspects of it, like social anxiety, are worse.
Sorry, this is probably sounding like a repeat of my recent deleted threads. I suppose there is some overlap, but there's more to it, I swear.
My social anxiety has been really bad here on SS lately. I don't really know how it is with in person interactions since between avoiding people because of covid and my own normal everyday people avoidance, I haven't had many interactions outside of my family for months.
I imagine it would probably be the same or likely even worse.
I've become very irritable lately, which sometimes turns into full blown anger. Any little thing sets me off. For example yesterday my mom was drinking coffee and she slurped once, and my mind just screamed "Omg stop it!!!" I kept my mouth shut though. Things like this have been happening a lot lately.
Another thing yesterday; I was cleaning out my closet and couldn't find a box to put all the clothes that don't fit me now but I want to keep for "someday." I ended up angrily throwing it all in a garbage bag and tossing it into a corner in the basement.
Then when I went back to my room my cat came in and I yelled at him to go away, and he ran out scared (this is not a normal thing I do at all). I feel so bad for taking my frustrations out on him.
After that I just layed on my bed, doing nothing because I couldn't trust myself to be around anyone or anything.
I'm sure all of these other feelings stem from my anxiety, and it sucks because in turn all this irritability, frustration, and anger causes me to have more anxiety. It's a vicious circle.
I did toy with the idea that I might be going through withdrawal after weaning off Lexapro and getting fully off it last week. I'm not sure what made me think of it, but I did a little research. Increased anxiety and irritability are symptoms of it, along with becoming more emotional (crying) and trouble concentrating, which I've also been experiencing.
I believe this all started getting worse within the past couple weeks. (Note: I only listed the symptoms that are relevant to me.)
I don't know if it's even likely that that's the cause of all this. I think I'm just trying to blame anything but myself for the way I am. Anything that might mean this worsening of things might not be permanent, like it's always been in the past. Any valid reason for this other than that I'm just a freak.
Another frustrating thing that doesn't seem like it's going to change is that my mom has been waking up earlier, like before the time I'd need to leave the house to ctb, every day this week. I don't know what I'm going to do if she keeps this up. I won't be able to sneak out of the house if she's awake.
It seems like nothing can go right lately.
Sorry, this is probably sounding like a repeat of my recent deleted threads. I suppose there is some overlap, but there's more to it, I swear.
My social anxiety has been really bad here on SS lately. I don't really know how it is with in person interactions since between avoiding people because of covid and my own normal everyday people avoidance, I haven't had many interactions outside of my family for months.
I imagine it would probably be the same or likely even worse.
I've become very irritable lately, which sometimes turns into full blown anger. Any little thing sets me off. For example yesterday my mom was drinking coffee and she slurped once, and my mind just screamed "Omg stop it!!!" I kept my mouth shut though. Things like this have been happening a lot lately.
Another thing yesterday; I was cleaning out my closet and couldn't find a box to put all the clothes that don't fit me now but I want to keep for "someday." I ended up angrily throwing it all in a garbage bag and tossing it into a corner in the basement.
Then when I went back to my room my cat came in and I yelled at him to go away, and he ran out scared (this is not a normal thing I do at all). I feel so bad for taking my frustrations out on him.
After that I just layed on my bed, doing nothing because I couldn't trust myself to be around anyone or anything.
I'm sure all of these other feelings stem from my anxiety, and it sucks because in turn all this irritability, frustration, and anger causes me to have more anxiety. It's a vicious circle.
I did toy with the idea that I might be going through withdrawal after weaning off Lexapro and getting fully off it last week. I'm not sure what made me think of it, but I did a little research. Increased anxiety and irritability are symptoms of it, along with becoming more emotional (crying) and trouble concentrating, which I've also been experiencing.
I believe this all started getting worse within the past couple weeks. (Note: I only listed the symptoms that are relevant to me.)
I don't know if it's even likely that that's the cause of all this. I think I'm just trying to blame anything but myself for the way I am. Anything that might mean this worsening of things might not be permanent, like it's always been in the past. Any valid reason for this other than that I'm just a freak.
Another frustrating thing that doesn't seem like it's going to change is that my mom has been waking up earlier, like before the time I'd need to leave the house to ctb, every day this week. I don't know what I'm going to do if she keeps this up. I won't be able to sneak out of the house if she's awake.
It seems like nothing can go right lately.
