Minudah
Stupid
- Dec 3, 2018
- 1,355
I have health issues but I'm wrong no matter what. Doctors wouldn't take me seriously for years because they thought I was too young to have any health problems. Then they got mad that I stopped telling them about my health issues because I knew they fell on deaf ears. I had bad for years then when I told them it was all "Why didn't you tell?" even though they always told me not to tell, "too young" and all.
I hate chronic pain. There's no winning with chronic pain. No matter what medicine use for it, it's stignatized and everyone horrible to you for medicating chronic pain. Opi users gets treated like drug addicts and are denied their medicine, cannabis is illegal, and kratom is experiencing the new reefer madness and is being banned over it. If don't medicate it then "not really sick", as if the same stigma was needed when physically suffering. There's no winning. I'm terrible because I suffer and they said I deserve to be hit because of it.
Everywhere I go, everyone knows who I am right away. They know I'm the worst lab rat, I don't even have to introduce myself and they already know and want to cause problems for me. I don't have to say anything and they want to hurt me. Everywhere I go I avoid everyone else, then they spread horrible rumors about me and are nasty to me.
Everyone agrees that it's okay to beat disabled people, and they also beat children and anyone in their family who's younger than them. No matter what I do I deserve to be hit and attacked. I'm the one who gets hurt but I'm in the wrong. No matter what there's a reason everyone agrees on that I deserve violence. Then dog trainers nowadays will tell you things like that telling your dog "no" or "bad dog", ignoring bratty behavior, and crate training a dog are abuse. That doesn't work for me, dog trainers and dog trainer advice haven't, so I'm bad and on my own. I love my dogs and want to be a good owner, but everything I do is wrong. My neighbor's kid got my dog to bark at strangers because this kid keeps pretend barking at her, making her think she needs to bark at people or they'll bark at her first. I got a squirt gun to stop her when she does it, it distracts her and gets her all excited trying to figure out where the water came from so she forgets whatever she was barking at. But then I found out dog trainers say that's abusive too. They don't have any advice for dealing with it, but my neighbors who hate small dogs call the police over my dog barking at them. I'm in the wrong for trying to solve the barking, I'm in the wrong because a neighbor's kid barks at my dog, and I'm in the wrong because my dog barks.
I wasn't raised in and religions other than Christianity aren't socially acceptable for one reason or another. I don't want to worship a man whose actual name translate to "Josh". I love Judaism. I spent years studying, was accepted by a Conservative beit din and converted, I go to synagogue all the time still and I love Torah and. Young people and people who aren't Jewish call me "not Jewish" when find out my parents aren't Jewish. Today conversion to Judaism is called "racist cultural appropriation" even though Judaism has always had converts. Abraham and Sarah themselves technically were, all of Judaism's matriarchs were converts, Ruth a famous convert who was the start of King David's Jewish lineage so there wouldn't have been a King David without conversion. It's okay when others convert, but it's not okay when I do it.
I've fucked up so many ctb attempts even though I so badly want to die. Everyone says it's easy to. But I'm too stupid and can't do it no matter how hard I try. A bug flew into the SN+DMSO mix and died in it. I'm a fucking retard who mixed it in a glass instead of a bottle.
I hate the simulation and don't want to be here
I hate chronic pain. There's no winning with chronic pain. No matter what medicine use for it, it's stignatized and everyone horrible to you for medicating chronic pain. Opi users gets treated like drug addicts and are denied their medicine, cannabis is illegal, and kratom is experiencing the new reefer madness and is being banned over it. If don't medicate it then "not really sick", as if the same stigma was needed when physically suffering. There's no winning. I'm terrible because I suffer and they said I deserve to be hit because of it.
Everywhere I go, everyone knows who I am right away. They know I'm the worst lab rat, I don't even have to introduce myself and they already know and want to cause problems for me. I don't have to say anything and they want to hurt me. Everywhere I go I avoid everyone else, then they spread horrible rumors about me and are nasty to me.
Everyone agrees that it's okay to beat disabled people, and they also beat children and anyone in their family who's younger than them. No matter what I do I deserve to be hit and attacked. I'm the one who gets hurt but I'm in the wrong. No matter what there's a reason everyone agrees on that I deserve violence. Then dog trainers nowadays will tell you things like that telling your dog "no" or "bad dog", ignoring bratty behavior, and crate training a dog are abuse. That doesn't work for me, dog trainers and dog trainer advice haven't, so I'm bad and on my own. I love my dogs and want to be a good owner, but everything I do is wrong. My neighbor's kid got my dog to bark at strangers because this kid keeps pretend barking at her, making her think she needs to bark at people or they'll bark at her first. I got a squirt gun to stop her when she does it, it distracts her and gets her all excited trying to figure out where the water came from so she forgets whatever she was barking at. But then I found out dog trainers say that's abusive too. They don't have any advice for dealing with it, but my neighbors who hate small dogs call the police over my dog barking at them. I'm in the wrong for trying to solve the barking, I'm in the wrong because a neighbor's kid barks at my dog, and I'm in the wrong because my dog barks.
I wasn't raised in and religions other than Christianity aren't socially acceptable for one reason or another. I don't want to worship a man whose actual name translate to "Josh". I love Judaism. I spent years studying, was accepted by a Conservative beit din and converted, I go to synagogue all the time still and I love Torah and. Young people and people who aren't Jewish call me "not Jewish" when find out my parents aren't Jewish. Today conversion to Judaism is called "racist cultural appropriation" even though Judaism has always had converts. Abraham and Sarah themselves technically were, all of Judaism's matriarchs were converts, Ruth a famous convert who was the start of King David's Jewish lineage so there wouldn't have been a King David without conversion. It's okay when others convert, but it's not okay when I do it.
I've fucked up so many ctb attempts even though I so badly want to die. Everyone says it's easy to. But I'm too stupid and can't do it no matter how hard I try. A bug flew into the SN+DMSO mix and died in it. I'm a fucking retard who mixed it in a glass instead of a bottle.
I hate the simulation and don't want to be here
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