Venting everything i do is fucking wrong

[cat0boy]

i cant do shit anywhere i go, i fuck everything up all the time and usually i just make shit worse when its already bad. i always just upset myself or someone else no matter how hard i try to do anything but that. im trying to clean my room because its fucking disgusting and i havent in forever, and all i wanted was some food. i was accidentally being loud even though i tried not to be with the trays and shit and my mom ended up just getting mad. i threw everything away and said fuck it now im gonna starve myself because i dont deserve shit. i pissed her off AGAIN. my brothers talking loud as fuck on his dumbass PS5 because i think his ears are fucked up since hes retarded and he cant hear shit. i want everything to just stop but of course i cant have anything i want. all i have are pills but if i try to OD im just going to wake up throwing up like every other time. this world has to be a fucking set up or simulation of some sort, someone js tell me how to end it i genuinely do NOT give a fuck if thats not allowed stop being pussies

 

[nails]

i understand how you feel, it's like i exist just to cause problems. i'm sorry you have to deal with this, your environment also seems really frustrating and i hope you can find some peace. you didn't do anything wrong and you don't deserve any sort of punishment.
anyway, i don't want to lose my account, so i'll remain a pussy. no one can give you any specific sources for sn or anything like that. still, there are plenty of resources that are readily available on the site.
you can find the ctb resource compilation in the sticky threads. it contains megathreads for different methods.
there's also the pph (also found in the sticky threads) which contains even more detailed information about some methods.
i'm wishing you the best. regardless of what happens, i hope you can get some relief.