SMK1444
Addicted to cutting
- Jul 27, 2023
- 25
I thought I was getting a bit happier I thought things were gonna get better and then just crash. I was flooded by a shit storm. I've only ever loved one person in my entire life let's just call them L. L didn't want me she had a boyfriend who just so happened to be my best friend Ik it was so wrong but I wanted her so bad I cried about it pretty much every day it was the main sorce of my emotional pain. Fast forward to now summer 2023 my best friend had killed himself which is a whole other story in its self so I won't be talking ab that rn. L has no boyfriend because my best friend is dead, she's not allowed to talk to me because I assisted in his suicide but survived so her parents are a little scared of me. I have a girlfriend I've had a girlfriend for almost 2 months now but I've always truely loved L. I find a way to contact L and we get to talking, for the first time in my life she admitted to loving me…she actually loves me and didn't mean to hurt me. That's good because I love her so much, one small problem tho! I have a girlfriend. That I CANT break up with not because I love her no it's quite the opposite actually it's because she will snitch on me. She will rat me out for the things I've said/done and it will only make her more mad if I get with L who she absolutely hates. I'm stuck I feel like suicide is my only way out of this one this time. I'm such a idiot
