Venting Everyday it's there!

[Need2BFree]

I've been here on this site today for a while now, trying to find my method. Unfortunately the one I would like to try is really hard to get especially where I live! There's no getting better I've had this chronic depression for too long and lost the ability to enjoy anything. Even the sky the atmosphere looks dulled down, no vibrant colours I feel numb when I look up at the sky. I'm not able to feel how beautiful it is!

Ctb is with me every second. There's one method I like to try but the doctors are very very strict I'm unable to be prescribed them. I can't deal with this.

Mindfulness, distraction techniques, breathing techniques, take each day that goes by, isn't working out for me. Seriously what on earth are those coping methods supposed to do. When your time has come it's come and staying. For the love of me let me please for feck sake find a method. I was hoping to find something to take to help me to relax to ease into what I'm wanting to-do. I suffer from anxiety constant inner body shakes and constriction tightening of the rib cage so I'm not able to relax my body. Please please world, universe whomever/whatever is out there, life let me be free I'm ready to be set free. I'm sorry for sounding so selfish, please forgive me.

 

[Lonerzepam]

Yeah man I feel you. Many of us here like you are suffering desperatly and just wanna get the fuck outta here.
You're in my heart I hope you find peace

 

[Need2BFree]

Yeah man I feel you. Many of us here like you are suffering desperatly and just wanna get the fuck outta here.
You're in my heart I hope you find peace

Thank you.
Likewise you're in my heart and I hope you will find peace ❤

 

[jodes2]

I'm so sorry you're suffering I wish you didn't have to CTB but I understand I wonder if maybe you just haven't found the right medication yet? Or maybe you need a flash of inspiration to rekindle n old hobby , or ignite new interest? I'm grasping at straws, I know , I'm urge you've already suffered for a long time and tried so hard to recover. I hope you find peace whichever path you choose

 

[Need2BFree]

I'm so sorry you're suffering I wish you didn't have to CTB but I understand I wonder if maybe you just haven't found the right medication yet? Or maybe you need a flash of inspiration to rekindle n old hobby , or ignite new interest? I'm grasping at straws, I know , I'm urge you've already suffered for a long time and tried so hard to recover. I hope you find peace whichever path you choose

I've tried all the SSRIs and 3 different other class of antidepressants I took a really bad serious reaction on two of them. My doctor doesn't really want to prescribe me anything. Unfortunately this suffering isn't going to ease in anyway. I have tried decades of living like this and I can't no longer. With my depression I have lost all interest in things my enjoyment has gone, I can't even enjoy going for a bath, a walk, I'm not feeling music I lose interest in TV. Food taste bland I can't sense my surroundings and experience how beautiful flowers are supposed to make you feel. I know others are living in hell, but this is my hell and I wouldn't wish it on anyone. I can't even put music on and dance I'm just not feeling it. I've lost the ability to cry. Sorry I'm venting too much thank you so much for replying back to me, it means so much I really appreciate it ❤

 

[jodes2]

I've tried all the SSRIs and 3 different other class of antidepressants I took a really bad serious reaction on two of them. My doctor doesn't really want to prescribe me anything. Unfortunately this suffering isn't going to ease in anyway. I have tried decades of living like this and I can't no longer. With my depression I have lost all interest in things my enjoyment has gone, I can't even enjoy going for a bath, a walk, I'm not feeling music I lose interest in TV. Food taste bland I can't sense my surroundings and experience how beautiful flowers are supposed to make you feel. I know others are living in hell, but this is my hell and I wouldn't wish it on anyone. I can't even put music on and dance I'm just not feeling it. I've lost the ability to cry. Sorry I'm venting too much thank you so much for replying back to me, it means so much I really appreciate it ❤

Aww you're very welcome. Just wish I could help. I do know how you feel. I've been empty for most of the last 15 years ago, randomly hit on a new merged with old interest which has rekindled something, I hoped the same could happen to you. But with no end in sight, like I was up til a week ago, it's understandable that you are considering throwing in the towel. Well done for getting this far, struggling for so long I hope you find peace whatever path you take

 

[FuneralCry]

I certainly hate the fact that the world we live in makes it so difficult for us to leave this life behind. We really shouldn't have to struggle so much in finding ways to be free from everything. Your feelings of wanting to be gone are understandable. It really can be tiring and dreadful feeling trapped in a life that is just constant suffering with no relief. At least to me, never waking again and never having to experience this life again would be the best thing possible. To die is all that I've ever really wanted. I hope that you find the freedom that you wish for.