Ever Think About Why You Exist?

[ElegantlyWasted]

I think about this a lot. Why was I born? What are the chances that it would happen? Why am I a human being, as opposed to the thousands of other species? Why was I born in this point in time, at heightened technological prosperity and not thousands of years ago? Why was I born in America instead of in a third world country?
I know life probably doesn't have any purpose but I can't help but think how improbable it is that I'm here right now with these circumstances. And even despite all the positives it's just not good enough for me. It was pretty close but too many other problems that would have made the random life I got pretty decent.
If it is just a random once in a eternity I think I would prefer not to exist at all than this shitty roll of a life.

 

[hoberyn]

Yeah i relate to the wish of not existing really.
Anyway i don't really ask myself why i was born at that time and place, it's just whatever that's so weird anyway ig i just assume that's how it is.

 

[Mofreeko]

I'm convinced I exist because God wanted to create me as the perfect loser and then watch as I suffer. It's a big reason of why I keep delaying my ctb. I'm afraid God won't let me go because he'd lose me as a source of entertainment and I'll wake up in the ICU with a tube down my throat because a burglar decided to break into my place while I'm unconscious and call 911, or some other ridiculous "miracle". I'm only half kidding, but the last time I tried to ctb 2 years ago the meto fucked me up so bad I panicked and called an ambulance and then a week later cops came to do a welfare check on me. They knew I had received N and they took it. If meto hadn't given me such drastic side effects I very well could be dead right now and have skipped the last two years of suffering. It really does feel like the universe wasn't done with making me suffer.

 

[Darkover]

to live out your misery and die that why we are here it's a random chance at being born

 

[FuneralCry]

There is no actual reason as to why we exist other than random factors eventually leading to our existence. I do believe that to be born into a world like this is such an awful thing to happen and it can never be beneficial bringing life into this world. Everything is determined by chance and luck after all, with no limit as to how much we can suffer.

There is nothing to be gained by being alive as we were all perfectly fine not existing until we were brought here. There could never be a need for life to be a thing in the first place. It's true that life doesn't have any purpose, all that humans do is try to pass the time until they die and are forgotten about. I think that people often invent a purpose for life as maybe they fear insignificance and the true meaningless nature of life is hard for them to come to terms with.

In my case, I really wish that I never existed at all and I view non existence as being preferable. I simply just dislike the whole concept of life. There could never be anything that would make me want to stay in this world.

 

[niki wonoto]

I think about this a lot. Why was I born? What are the chances that it would happen? Why am I a human being, as opposed to the thousands of other species? Why was I born in this point in time, at heightened technological prosperity and not thousands of years ago? Why was I born in America instead of in a third world country?
I know life probably doesn't have any purpose but I can't help but think how improbable it is that I'm here right now with these circumstances. And even despite all the positives it's just not good enough for me. It was pretty close but too many other problems that would have made the random life I got pretty decent.
If it is just a random once in a eternity I think I would prefer not to exist at all than this shitty roll of a life.

I also think a lot about this everyday. I have always asked "the big questions" about life & meaning of life. Idk why, but somehow, my mind always think about all those deep questions (which most people rarely ever ask nor care, it seems). But as a result, I've got what's called an existential depression (or existential crisis). And as I'm much older now (I'm 40), it's just getting a lot worse. Especially with my life being a failure now, and the fact that my life's story is full of irony & tragedy, which is stupid & ridiculous whenever I think about it. I admit it was also my mistakes for the most part, which makes me even much more depressed & suicidal (even though I've come from quite a 'privileged' family background, which makes it even more stupid & ironic).

My conclusion so far:
- Life is meaningless
- Life is random

...which is depressing. It's a shitty existence & reality.

- from Indonesia -

 

[TydalWave]

The question of how something can exist from nothing has bothered me my entire life.

It makes absolutely no sense. Perhaps it's not possible for me to even understand. So as others have alluded to, maybe it's just meaningless to even question.

I probably have existential depression as well. I mean, it takes a LOT of cognitive dissonance to exist in this world without it. It's like we have to forget or ignore these questions to exist peacefully in this world.

The sad truth is that many of us live painful lives in a world that we arent allowed to understand and that to me is not free will.

 

[akirat9]

*used to be

 

[Living_Hurts_so_Much]

I do wonder what the fuck I'm doing here often. I didn't ask for any of this. This joke called life just pulled me along and gives me nothing but regret that I interacted with anyone else at all. I wish I didn't exist so no one would miss me or remember me.

 

[Euthanza]

Because my parents decided to keep me, especially my mom, both had passed away. Other than this I don't really have any reason to live, life means nothing for me, I prefer death.